Friday, October 31, 2008

THE ECLECTIC CLERIC - “Celebrate the Holidays at First Parish:

The holiday season can often be a frantic time for families. Each year they seem to begin earlier and earlier, bringing with them ever-expanding lists of things to do, places to go, and people to see. Tough economic times only seem to compound these difficulties, making the burden feel all that heavier. But here at First Parish, we like to think that we’ve scheduled a few activities that can help people REDUCE the burden of the holidays, beginning with our new Wednesday evening Eventide services, to be held at 5:50 pm on November 5th, November 19th, December 5th and December 17th. These half-hour services of readings, music and meditation are intended to provide a peaceful midweek interlude in our otherwise hectic lives, and will be lead by our newly-designated Minister of Music, Charlie Grindle.

On Sunday November 23rd we will celebrate our annual, intergenerational Cider and Cornbread Communion, as well as dedicating any children whose parents wish to have them formally recognized and acknowledged as members of our faith community. Which reminds me, if you have a child you would like to have dedicated this year, please contact the church office right away in order to make those arrangements.

Sunday December 14th is the date of the “Pageant of the Nativity,” a unique living tableau which has been First Parish’s annual holiday gift to the greater Portland community for over eighty years. Seating is always crowded at this popular holiday event, so if you would like to attend this year plan on arriving early.

This year, not only does the Solstice fall on a Sunday (December 21st); that date also marks the beginning of Hanukkah, and provides the occasion for another intergenerational family service recognizing the many other faith traditions who celebrate “holy days” this time of year. One of the things people often say they appreciate most about Unitarian Universalism is our willingness to be enlightened by wisdom from ALL the world’s great religious faiths, based on our own belief that “the Truth” is true no matter where you find it, and will still be true no matter how you label it.

And, of course, for those who still enjoy a traditional Christmas touchstone, on Wednesday, December 24th we will celebrate our annual Christmas Eve Candlelight Service.

Finally, on Sunday January 4th we will observe the last of our intergenerational holiday services, by conducting our annual Burning Ritual. Many faith traditions, as well as our society in general, encourage individuals to make Resolutions for the New Year. But in many Unitarian Universalist churches, we also encourage people to let go of their regrets from the year just gone by, by writing them down on small slips of paper and burning them as part of the Worship Service. You may be surprised by how liberating this may feel, even if you don’t feel like you have that much to regret.

C.K. Chesterson once observed that “Tradition is not the worship of ashes, but the preservation of fire.” This year, why not invite your whole family, and invite all your friend, to gather once more around the Heart(h)fire, and join us for the holidays at First Parish.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

HOW TO BE A GOLD CUP GREETER

Every Sunday, as I welcome first time visitors to our service, and invite them to join us at the coffee hour, I also encourage them to speak with one of our "Gold Cup Greeters" -- church members who are willing to act as "hosts" to our visitors, and answer whatever questions they may have about First Parish or Unitarian Universalism in general.

Yet I've never really talked about how one BECOMES a Gold Cup Greeter, or what is expected of someone who makes this particular commitment.

The first part is easy. One becomes a Gold Cup Greeter by picking up a Gold Cup. It's really as much a matter of attitude and willingness as any special training or expertise. A prospective Gold Cup Greeter should feel comfortable about embracing the "Ministry of Hospitality" -- or in other words, be someone who ALREADY thinks of First Parish as their Spiritual Home, and who delights in welcoming guests into our parlor, and helping them feel at home as well.

The next part requires a little effort. As tempting as it is just to stand around and wait for someone to approach you, Gold Cup greeters need to be PROACTIVE in their hospitality. Look around the room for people you don't recognize, and when you see one approach them and simply say "Hi! My name is ______. I don't think we've met." That way you don't have to worry about whether they are a first-time visitor or their family has been attending First Parish for three generations. They'll tell you what you need to know.

It may well be that your visitor doesn't have any questions. But you can still continue the conversation by asking a few questions of your own. You might ask them whether this is their first time in a UU church, or what inspired them to visit today? You can ask whether they have family with them, or how long they've lived in Portland? -- basically, it's just a matter of taking a genuine interest is another person, and trying to learn a little more about them. Above all, try to learn (and remember) the visitor's name, and (if they haven't already) get them to fill out a visitors card. Those two things are the most important factors in our early efforts to establish healthy, long-lasting relationships with newcomers to our congregation.

Likewise, they may have questions that you just don't have the answers to. Rather than making something up on the spot, take advantage of that opportunity to introduce your visitor to someone ELSE in the congregation who just might have the answer you're looking for: one of the ministers, or Membership/Hospitality Coordinator Val Blais, a church officer, other long-time church members, or simply somebody passing by. The whole point is to help our visitors connect with real people, rather than simply standing alone in a corner waiting for something to happen.

As you do converse, try to keep the conversation focused on the needs and interests of the newcomer and what First Parish has done for you and might do for them, rather that starting off by talking about all of the expectations and responsibilities of Formal Membership. Nobody in their right mind joins a church because they want to give away their money and attend committee meetings. Furthermore, if we CAN'T meet their expectations as a Faith Community, we have no business asking them to do those other things in the first place. So once again -- keep it focused on the needs and interests of the newcomer, and what we might do for them rather than what they might do for us.

Finally, make a point to Remember the Name of the person you greeted, so that when you see them again in two or three weeks, or on the street or in the check-out line at Hannafords, you can greet them by name and thus let them know that someone cared enough about them to remember.

And that's all it really takes to become a Gold Cup Greeter: the willingness to welcome someone new into our Spiritual Home, and to care enough about them to remember their name.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Minister’s Report October 14, 2008

We are a month now into our new Program Year, and slowly settling into what (I hope) will be a sustainable routine that will allow us to make noticeable progress toward our goals, relieve much of the stress on our hard-working (and short-handed) leadership team, and still leave plenty of room for having fun.

Much of our ability to do this successfully depends upon the attitude with which we approach the task. So let us all try to remember to be gentle with ourselves and one another, and to reman confident that we have within us and among us the knowledge, wisdom, experience, expertise and resources to overcome whatever unforeseen challenges we may encounter upon our way.

Let us all be “slow to anger and quick to forgive,” eager to take responsibility and reluctant to place blame, devoted to those high purposes and values which give our lives (and life itself) its greatest meaning, and committed to the challenge of our mutual promise of “Walking Together.”

Thus endeth the sermon.... [Amen & Blessed Be]

****

I thought that our Leadership Retreat last month marked an important step forward on our journey as well, and want to make certain that we keep on track with the same momentum we began to develop there. Naming our fears about the long-term condition of my health was important, but I hope we all can keep in mind that “I ain’t dead yet” and I don’t plan to be for a long, long time. Likewise, the “Ministerial Support Team” we have now put in place is a very talented and experience group, and as we move forward and learn how to work most effectively together, I believe we will be able to accomplish a great many things here that I would never have been able to achieve alone, even in the best of health.

Our Goal of Consistent, High Quality Worship likewise seems to be coalescing very nicely. As we work toward becoming what some have described as “a seven-day-a-week, ‘full service’ Program Church,” a solid three hour Sunday Morning Program of Worship, Fellowship, and Education (for both children and adults), plus our new bi-weekly Wednesday Evening Evensong service, represent a very nice start.

I’ve also made a recommendation through the Worship Committee to the Trustees for better Lighting & Sound in the Meetinghouse. The latter is actually pretty good at the moment, but the former has always been problematic; the recommendation I have made should solve a good percentage of the problem at a nominal cost (under $750)

The Search for a new Director of Religious Education seems to have pretty much taken on a life of it’s own: a committee has already been formed, and I believe are already meeting to draft a new job description and to advertise the opening in all the usual places. I can’t predict and won’t attempt to try how long this will take, but my assumption is that as with the last search the committee will generate a “short list” of acceptable candidates, and I will select one of those based on my own sense of who will fit best with our team. Personally, I am much more concerned about finding the right person than I am “filling” the position, but I also recognize the perceived sense of urgency, and the desire to have someone in the position right away.

Kitsy and I also spoke with our District Program Consultant, Benette Sherman, at the UUMA Chapter Retreat last week, and she offered to be of help to us in any way we could use her in this process. Meanwhile, Barbara Ann McHugh has officially resigned as Chair of the Committee. I am uncertain at this moment about what steps are being taken to replace her.

Our final goal, Improved Communications, seemed to me in a little danger of being lost after the retreat; personally, I would hate to see that happen, especially since it also seems to me very closely tied to our Pathway to Leadership initiative, and my own desire to help every member of the congregation discern their own vocation or “ministry” here at First Parish.

Thus, in addition to finding the right people to do those essential “jobs” around here (both staff and volunteer), it also seems important that we define those jobs more accurately and precisely, and also that we develop the kind of consistent and reliable Administrative “Standard Operating Procedures” which will allow both staff and volunteers to concentrate on DOING those jobs, rather than trying to navigate the system where the jobs are to be done.

This in turn requires consistent and effective methods of training, Training, TRAINING so that everyone KNOWS what those procedures are, and can follow them reliably and successfully.

Finally, we need to be more effective about communicating among ourselves, both up and down the system from Staff and Committees to the Governing Board, and also laterally between Committees and even the Staff members themselves. Part of this challenge has to do with how effectively we use our meeting time, and another part has to do with effective communication between meetings, and especially the use of e-mail and the web.

We should keep in mind that the three core purposes of meetings are to 1) share information, 2) solve problems, and 3) Make Decisions. The more closely we can organize our meetings around those purposes, the more effective they will be.

Likewise, in terms of reporting, I want to continue to push the idea of “Quick Minutes.” At the end of EVERY meeting, just before the check-out, each Committee should take five or ten minutes to recount what was actually discussed and (especially) decided there, and then draft a brief report which can be e-mailed within 24 hours to all committee members, plus the office and anyone else who is a potential stakeholder. It should also be posted to THIS SITE (which is easily done, once you’ve been signed up as an “author” or -- in a pinch -- Barbara or I might be willing to do for you).

These Quick Minutes should include the following information in this order:

Name of the Committee

Time, Date and and those present at the meeting

Decisions Made: for each decision, this should begin with a brief description of the problem and the desired outcome, what actions are to be taken, what resources are available/authorized, who is the responsible contact person, and the deadline by which the decision is expected to be implemented.

FYI items - especially those which potentially impact our master calendar or require space use in the building.

The date, time and location of the next meeting.


The more quickly we can consistently use these Quick Minutes, the more consistently we will be able to share information among committees quickly and accurately.

The last little bit of business I wish to report on this month has little to do with the retreat itself, but rather involves what I see as a critical need to revitalize our Pastoral "Care Ring” into a more effective network of ministers and volunteers capable of reaching out to those members of our community who are in need of face-to-face ministry from First Parish. This is one aspect of my job which my own disability had made it nearly impossible for me to do effectively, yet also made critically clear in my mind is essential for us to thrive as a faith community capable of effectively transitioning from a “graying” church to a Growing one.

Or to put it a slightly different way, the outpouring of support for me as I have faced my illness has been simply overwhelming. I have been so amazed and gratified at people’s generosity and good will, and by the innumerable offers of assistance in ways both great and small. Yet the one thing I would appreciate most of all is that same style of assistance being made available to those to whom I would normally minister to myself if I were in good health, but who are now essentially without a pastor because of my illness.

Kitsy and Sally and Charlie have all stepped up to take on some of that responsibility, but there still needs to be more. We need to recruit, train and assign a whole new “Care Ring” of Coordinators, Pastoral Visitors, and Caring Volunteers who can provide occasional meals and transportation, or perhaps just a little congenial afternoon company and conversation, to those members of our community who are unable to get out and do these things for themselves. Think about it in terms of Matthew 25:40 -- “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” It’s an important and potentially very personally fulfilling ministry.

Now that we are close to the completion of our new Congregational directory, the next step should be to take a “census” by comparing those names to the names of those who have been “missing” from church so far this year, and to ask ourselves “why are they missing?” “Who are their friends?” “what can (and should) we do about getting in contact with them again?” One nice thing about moving our annual financial canvass to the Spring it that it allows us to reach out to our “lost lambs” without necessarily having our hand out looking for a donation at the same time!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

THE ECLECTIC CLERIC - “It’s only the ceiling, not the sky....”

One of the most interesting personal insights that came out of our recent leadership retreat in September was just how much anxiety people are feeling about my health, and how my own apparent LACK of anxiety about those same issues tends to make people feel even MORE anxious than they might feel otherwise!

I really don’t know how to respond to all this. My health is what it is, and some days I worry about it more than others. But every morning (at least so far) I’ve woken up knowing that my cancer’s not going to kill me today, and it’s probably not going to kill me tomorrow either. In fact, if anything, I’m actually getting a little healthier. And that’s generally enough to get me through the next 24 hours.

I DO worry about how some of my other related health issues, such as my lack of mobility, my chronic fatigue, and especially the “fuzziness” I experience from the medications I take to control my pain, have limited my ability to do my job they way I want to. My decision to file a disability claim this past summer was one of the most emotionally difficult things I have ever done in my life, and I still feel uncomfortable about it, even though it has made it possible to bring in colleagues like Kitsy and Will to assist me, and thus transform a challenge into an opportunity.

But still, I don’t really feel like a “disabled” minister. I feel like a human being attempting to minister to others despite my present disability, and often frustrated by my inability to perform at the same level I’m accustomed to performing. Yet even though I can’t do everything I’m accustomed to doing as well as I’m accustomed to doing it, I also know I still have an important contribution to make. Figuring out the parameters of that role, and learning how to fulfill it, is the real challenge facing me now. And it’s really no different than the challenge every one of us faces when we enter the doors at First Parish -- whether for the first time, or after countless times spanning decades and generations.

I’m also quite sensitive to the sentiments raised at the retreat that it would be nice “to catch a break” every now and then. Misfortune around here seems to run the gamut from my cancer diagnosis to the ceiling in the Meetinghouse, and all sorts of other setbacks in between. And yet I am also discovering that we are a congregation of survivors: strong, resilient, resourceful, creative...we encounter a crisis, face it squarely, work the problem and resolve it.

My own optimism is grounded in experience. It has nothing to do with blind hope or wishful thinking; if anything, it is rooted in a profound sense of cynicism which simply accepts that if something can go wrong it probably will go wrong (and at the worst possible moment), but that nevertheless we have the expertise and the resources to patch things up and move forward on our journey. And at the end of the day, that’s really all any of us can ask. Until it’s time to wake up again, and embrace another 24 hours of authentic living...................twj