Teenage Angst

One Woman’s Perspective
By Ashley Lasbury, President

One of the challenges of raising teenagers is what I am calling “Parental Idiot Syndrome”. One moment you are the font of all wisdom and the next you know nothing. One moment you are asked to explain why the sky is blue and where the birds go in the winter and the next you are deemed clueless. It is shocking and funny at the same time. Going hand and hand with P.I.S. is an inability to suggest anything to a teenager without getting an eye roll and attitude. Add to that the fact that they are ego driven; that they tend to believe that the world revolves around them. Is it any wonder parents are eager to kick the chicks out of the nest? I know that it will change as they grow into mature adults but that doesn’t make it any easier right now.

First Parish is not a teenage child. First Parish is a faith community filled with like minded people who are wondrously diverse and strong willed. Yet there is a bit of the teenager in us all. If we haven’t thought of it ourselves then we might balk at sage advice. Especially if we do not perceive that we have a problem. Well, I do see that we have a problem. We are members of a congregation who’s numbers are in decline. This is a reality that is being faced by the entire denomination not just here at First Parish. There is only one path to an abundant future for our community: we must grow our church.

One of the easiest ways to grow a church is visitor retention. Makes sense, doesn’t it? If more of the people who choose to visit us each Sunday return the next Sunday then that increases the likelihood that they will keep on coming. If we help them connect and put down roots, if we help them to find their ministries then they will keep on coming. And the easiest path to visitor retention is if all of the active members of First Parish change the primary reason they go to church from worship or fellowship to welcoming and connecting with visitors. Now, don’t get all bent out of shape. I am not suggesting that we paint the Meeting House doors pink. What I am suggesting is that you own our challenge of growth. You know you will be fed during worship. You know that you will experience fellowship and community on Sunday morning. I am not asking you to give those up. I am asking you to change your thinking a bit. If each of us made welcoming and connecting with visitors our primary reason for attending public worship each Sunday we would be well on our way to accomplishing our goal. But if you are thinking in teenage mode you may be thinking to yourself, “Isn’t that someone else’s job?” or “Don’t we have a committee that does that?” or “Someone else can do that. Talking to strangers makes me uncomfortable.” or “I like us just the way we are.” And I, as your loving leader ask you gently and with kindness, to put the teenager aside; to open your minds and spirits; to embrace what is good for the congregation at the possible expense of what your personal desires may be. Acting with one mind and one heart we can grow our congregation together. Peace

To learn more about Intentional Dynamic Growth and where the denomination is now I recommend you watch this 15 minutes 2 part YouTube video: www.youtube.com/user/newUUorg