Inner Care
• Get to know members meaning of life. Explore our journeys, learn from others. Pot lucks, small gatherings. Shouldn’t be an inner circle.
• Make groups more inclusive.
• Institute small groups on a limited time frame so they don’t burn out. Not have things opened ended. Fear of signing up for something for life.
• Can’t be exclusionary. Doing things at peoples houses eliminates many (due to size of apartments, etc.). Excludes people without money or big enough homes.
• Importance of knowing others names.
• Importance also of getting to know another: like caring group
• Better venues for getting to know members. Doesn’t like coffee hour.
• Does not like to be made uncomfortable. Has been insulted, discriminated against. Big hole-losing existing members.
• Feels it’s more welcoming now. Felt it used to be very exclusionary. Church has failed her children. Need to keep people, have families feel part of community.
• Use facility more. Can’t us his home for events.
• People feel daunted by parking.
• Focus workshops. Work together. Art classes, etc. Woman’s group.
• Have a Craig’s List type thing. We all could advertise our services-sell-offers of rooms available. Many talents of church we don’t know about.
• Feels that non-members don’t have the right to speak up.
• Comes, gives money, bit is not a member. Doesn’t want to sign a book (ex-catholic) He loved the bean supper with skits –found helpful, wasn’t formal, met people.
• Bean supper a big hit. Open to the public?
• Would like open public dinners.
• Concern about amount of work involved with dinners.
Bridge to Community
• You get close to people that you have done community efforts with. Way to intimacy. Working on goal together.
• Soup Kitchen
• Go to USM for outreach. Sharing the Good News. Doesn’t have to be a deed. Tabling-a presence important.
• Common Ground Fair
• Portland High School-our neighbor. Poster in alley. Tutoring in classroom. Outreach to guidance councilors and social works. After school clubs-invite them.
• Technology. Community TV. Channel 4. Pod casts-live stream. Video/audio.
• Use our own high schools for ideas and engage.
• Sister church. Latin America or in US or South.
• Voter registration drives.
• Use groups that already exist: Safe Passage.
• Partner with another church that is already good at it.
• Bridge to Community –continued
• Ferry Beach Retreat-area UU’s. Opportunity to explore social action.
• Inner City church- for unchurched, not church Sunday morning. Programs. Place to give back.
• Outside garden services in summer.
• Banners. Acknowledge impact-more-alley.
• Solstice etc. outside. Maypole.
• UU Book group. Meet outside church. In community.
• Connection with other UU’s.
• Groups that come here. Make connections. Thursday concerts-important to have someone speak.
• Connect with AA, Thai Chi, Playback.
Worship
• Tension between preservation/visionary plays out here in worship. Elders/big givers object to banners/lights/renovations. Let’s be visionaries but not throw baby out with bath water; drive out traditional big givers.
• My alternative is Quaker Meeting, but prefer something with a sermon BUT sacred, centered, atmosphere with spirituality in services. Non traditional stuff is fine but not chaos.
• Dislikes should be respected, not told to “stuff it”
• It’s important to tolerate elements/styles of music you don’t like and that the program be varied to serve all.
• We are open but we can’t be everything to everyone.
• Authenticity is important in using and honoring other traditions.
• Excellence is important.
• A central, constant experience is important to me.
• I like to leave feeling that I learned something.
• Sacred space, life changing experience is important.
• Toughing people, elevating common themes to significance.
• Excellence is a certain level of competence that doesn’t break the experience.
• Personal participation is make the experience sacred-singing, etc.
• It is possible to combine preservation and vision. Example: Unison affirmation can be a common element while other things change.
• 7 year old says the affirmation.
• Need numbers in the meeting house to have energy.
• We need to understand why people don’t come back; tinkering with worship may not do it.
• Preserve the sacred no matter what we do,
• People are leaving for many reasons, not worship alone.
• Came during summer; hooked by different kind of service. Grew to like regular kind of service.
• Possible to have different styles of services at different times to serve multiple audiences, a.k.a. Soulful Sundown.
• Been here 4 months and haven’t heard anything about Islam.
Building Congregation
• Collaborate with other churches, ie; Williston-West and Polish Church; diversity
• Have other faiths meet at different times. Use the church / rent the space.
• Expand Building Use Coordinators role.
• “Bring a Friend” Have current members invite others to service on Sunday and events and Men group and others.
• Collaboration with A2U2.
• Have a service periodically focused on a symbol of the traditions; including the UU symbol; Buddhist. Etc.
• Put info at USM, SMCC, bookstores, library.
• Services on public access TV
• Pancake breakfast to include music and advertise it.
• Invite the Noonday music attendees to Sunday Worship, AA as well.
• Volunteers to Youth Groups to represent UU, ie; Long Creek
• Worship at nursing homes, college campuses.
• Educate public with ads to free papers. Use quote: “We do not ask all to think alike, we ask all to think.” “We don’t; have to think alike to love alike.” (Goes with our Mission.)
• Like Kitsy: carry around UU newsletters to give out when appropriate. Also where UU jewelry if comfortable.
• More collaboration with historical society and being speakers in schools to talk about UU for history classes, especially elementary and H.S. On college level on comparative religion.
• Building Congregation-continued
• Look at the latest survey for the ministerial search for ideas.
Funding
• Broader opportunities to solicit funds.
• Grants / ?
• Identify what programs we need to fund.
• Identify cast of each segment of the vision statement
• Annuities to church
• Functions that bring in people and ?
• Endow partial activity or ?; ie; RE or music
• Pledge for support church plus separate pledge for “special interests”.
Mission
• Mission should be to meet spiritual and emotional needs of attendees
• Should be attractive to outside.
• If talk is in theory and not concrete-intentional plan
• Is our strength in spiritual realm?
• Multiracial / Intergenerational communion
• Big Buddy.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I Refuse to Lead a Dying Church
One Woman’s Perspective
By Ashley Lasbury, President
These spoken remarks were made to a group of 55 or so of the most active members of First Parish on the morning of January 9th. Now is the time to widen the focus and share my concerns and vision of our future with the entire congregation. After presentations by Kitsy, Will and myself, the larger group broke into small “passion groups” to generate edgy, creative ideas to rethink “how we do church”. Those ideas will be shared in the near future. Again, my presentation was spoken and I have written it as it was delivered. Peace.
I refuse to lead a dying church! I. Refuse. To. Lead. A. Dying. Church! Anna, our VP, refuses to lead a dying church. Val, Brownie and Stephanie refuse to lead a dying church. The entire Governing Board of First Parish refuses to lead a dying church and it is my hope that by the end of the morning you will refuse to be members of a dying church. I Refuse to Lead a Dying Church is the title of a book by Paul Nixon that most of the leadership has read or is in the process of reading. Long before I heard of the book, those words summed up what was in my heart. You were invited here this morning because in church-speak you are “stakeholders” of First Parish, the backbone and beating heart of our community. And I don’t know about you but I am tired of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.
Straight Talk
My remarks this morning are a combination of John McCain’s Straight Talk and Obama’s Vision of Hope. First the Straight Talk. As a community, First Parish is healthy. The information from the cottage meetings clearly indicates that we are a healthy congregation and we are optimistic about our future. Just walk into coffee hour any Sunday and you can’t help but feel the vitality and energy swirling in the air! But the institution is not so healthy. I maintain that the institution may not be sustainable in its current form for very much longer. Our numbers are in decline. This is not just our reality but is challenge being faced at the association level as well. Unitarian Universalist churches have been in decline since the early 70’s. This trend is affecting main line Protestant churches across the country. Right here in our city the church building on Chestnut Street has become a restaurant. Another is deciding whether it can afford to keep its doors open for much longer. Since our high water mark in the early 90’s when First Parish was the fastest growing mid-sized congregation in the UUA, our numbers have slowly declined. Membership is down, church attendance is down and pledge income is down.
One of the inconvenient truths I wanted to speak to you about this morning is money. During the last budget year the leadership had to cut $40,000 out of our budget. We have taken a pledge not to dip into the endowment; that is a path to certain ruin. We also vowed to create a realistic budget, not one based on the hope that an “angel” would swoop down and pull our collective nuts out of the fire. So we cut $40,000. $20,000 of it was hard; the other $20,000 was easy as our interim ministers do not require us to pay them benefits. If you have not thanked Will and Kitsy you may want to consider doing so. We are getting top-notch Interim Ministerial guidance for very little money. In a few months when it comes time to create the 2010/2011 church budget the leadership will have to build back in that $20,000 as you can be sure that our new minister is going to want benefits. That is our challenge, but I am not here this morning to talk to you just about money.
Why Now?
I know many of you are wondering why we are talking about these issues now. Why shouldn’t we wait until our new minister joins us? Very simply, I don’t think we have the time to wait. We have only 5 months left in this all important Interim year and we must use the time wisely. We must start to make changes NOW and not wait until some undefined point in the future. There are at least two reasons. The first is that, as Kitsy will tell you, any minister new to a congregation will spend the first year of their ministry just getting to know the congregation and letting the congregation get to know them; establishing a foundation of trust; not making any sudden changes or moves. But if the congregation is already in the process of growth and change; if, as Will says, “The train has already left the station, then the new minister will be able to just hop on board.” We cannot wait yet another year to start to meet our challenges. We must start now. We must get this train moving out of the station NOW.
The second reason is that we must not be a “minister-centric” church. That is not a healthy model. We have been in the past and we have seen the results. Members have become so tied to the minister and not the community that when the minister leaves, they leave as well. We must instead become a “mission-focused” church. To that end, the Governing Board has created a provisional Mission Statement for First Parish that I am pleased to present to you this morning:
At First Parish Unitarian Universalist church we are called to:
Grow in Spirit;
Nurture Community and
Help Heal the World
We aimed for simple, simple enough for our youngest to remember. I like this mission. It is a mission I can sink my teeth into and it gives us a place to start. Not perfect but pithy and deep. As a mission focused church, we are not waiting for one person to rescue us, to save us or to fix our problems. We can and will do that for ourselves. As Will likes to remind me, “A good minister gets out of a congregations way.”
Rev. Peter Morales, the new President of the UUA, wrote about this very issue in his first editorial for the UUA World magazine in September. If you have not read it, please do so. You can find it easily on-line. He wrote that in order for the denomination to survive we must fundamentally “rethink how we do church.” That was his challenge to us. To fundamentally rethink we do church. It is our great challenge.
A Walk in the Forest
If you will indulge me, I would like to place us all metaphorically in the forest. We are on a path in the woods. The path is wide, well marked and well traveled. We can clearly see where we are, where we have come from and where we are headed. The path is easy to walk. It is safe, well lit and above all else, it is comfortable. We know this path. But if we continue to walk this path we are going to have to make some hard financial choices in the near future. 90% of our budget is comprised of staff salaries and when we have to make cuts in the budget in the future those cuts will be made from staff. Now, this is not necessarily a bad thing. If we choose to cut the position of Office Facilitator then we would have an office run by volunteers. Many churches do it and do it well. We may choose to cut the position of Music Director and have a choir led music program. Certainly our choir is up to the challenge based on the wonderful music we were blessed with during Summer Services. Again, not a bad choice. Or we may choose to go without a DRE and have a completely parent run RE program. Many churches do it and do it well. One final possible choice is that we decide we cannot afford to pay for a minister. We would have either part-time ministerial coverage or become a completely lay led congregation. Not a bad choice. Many churches in the UUA are lay led and the congregations are vibrant and healthy. Allison comes from a lay led congregation and she can speak to the advantages of this choice. I am not trying to scare any of you but I do want to make it very clear that if we continue to walk the safe, comfortable path we are on then we are going to need to make some hard choices in the future. I want us to make those choices with our eyes open.
A Vision of Hope
But there is another path. It would require us to make a turn off of the beaten track onto a path that is less well marked. A road less traveled, if you will. This path is harder to walk. It is at times dark and scary. It is filled with obstacles that we may be required to go over or around. We may become lost at times but I have faith that we will find our way back onto the trail. This path is going to make many of us uncomfortable. It is the path of Intentional Dynamic Growth. No, not just growth for the sake of growth; because this path has a bright, shining light at its end that is guiding us, leading us on. This bright, shining light is a Vision for First Parish of Abundance. A vision of abundance! You can plug in any word or words that work for you but I like: Abundant love. Abundant membership. Abundant fun. Abundant fellowship. Abundant money. Abundant folks in the pews on Sunday morning. Abundant hands to service. A future of Abundance. And if we choose to walk this less traveled road and if we become frightened and uncomfortable we can turn to each other for comfort. Because we would not be alone. I believe that we can reach that future of abundance for First Parish if we bring our collective passion, creativity and above all, courage to this challenge. Together, with the congregation will powering the train, we can travel very far indeed.
Thank you.
By Ashley Lasbury, President
These spoken remarks were made to a group of 55 or so of the most active members of First Parish on the morning of January 9th. Now is the time to widen the focus and share my concerns and vision of our future with the entire congregation. After presentations by Kitsy, Will and myself, the larger group broke into small “passion groups” to generate edgy, creative ideas to rethink “how we do church”. Those ideas will be shared in the near future. Again, my presentation was spoken and I have written it as it was delivered. Peace.
I refuse to lead a dying church! I. Refuse. To. Lead. A. Dying. Church! Anna, our VP, refuses to lead a dying church. Val, Brownie and Stephanie refuse to lead a dying church. The entire Governing Board of First Parish refuses to lead a dying church and it is my hope that by the end of the morning you will refuse to be members of a dying church. I Refuse to Lead a Dying Church is the title of a book by Paul Nixon that most of the leadership has read or is in the process of reading. Long before I heard of the book, those words summed up what was in my heart. You were invited here this morning because in church-speak you are “stakeholders” of First Parish, the backbone and beating heart of our community. And I don’t know about you but I am tired of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.
Straight Talk
My remarks this morning are a combination of John McCain’s Straight Talk and Obama’s Vision of Hope. First the Straight Talk. As a community, First Parish is healthy. The information from the cottage meetings clearly indicates that we are a healthy congregation and we are optimistic about our future. Just walk into coffee hour any Sunday and you can’t help but feel the vitality and energy swirling in the air! But the institution is not so healthy. I maintain that the institution may not be sustainable in its current form for very much longer. Our numbers are in decline. This is not just our reality but is challenge being faced at the association level as well. Unitarian Universalist churches have been in decline since the early 70’s. This trend is affecting main line Protestant churches across the country. Right here in our city the church building on Chestnut Street has become a restaurant. Another is deciding whether it can afford to keep its doors open for much longer. Since our high water mark in the early 90’s when First Parish was the fastest growing mid-sized congregation in the UUA, our numbers have slowly declined. Membership is down, church attendance is down and pledge income is down.
One of the inconvenient truths I wanted to speak to you about this morning is money. During the last budget year the leadership had to cut $40,000 out of our budget. We have taken a pledge not to dip into the endowment; that is a path to certain ruin. We also vowed to create a realistic budget, not one based on the hope that an “angel” would swoop down and pull our collective nuts out of the fire. So we cut $40,000. $20,000 of it was hard; the other $20,000 was easy as our interim ministers do not require us to pay them benefits. If you have not thanked Will and Kitsy you may want to consider doing so. We are getting top-notch Interim Ministerial guidance for very little money. In a few months when it comes time to create the 2010/2011 church budget the leadership will have to build back in that $20,000 as you can be sure that our new minister is going to want benefits. That is our challenge, but I am not here this morning to talk to you just about money.
Why Now?
I know many of you are wondering why we are talking about these issues now. Why shouldn’t we wait until our new minister joins us? Very simply, I don’t think we have the time to wait. We have only 5 months left in this all important Interim year and we must use the time wisely. We must start to make changes NOW and not wait until some undefined point in the future. There are at least two reasons. The first is that, as Kitsy will tell you, any minister new to a congregation will spend the first year of their ministry just getting to know the congregation and letting the congregation get to know them; establishing a foundation of trust; not making any sudden changes or moves. But if the congregation is already in the process of growth and change; if, as Will says, “The train has already left the station, then the new minister will be able to just hop on board.” We cannot wait yet another year to start to meet our challenges. We must start now. We must get this train moving out of the station NOW.
The second reason is that we must not be a “minister-centric” church. That is not a healthy model. We have been in the past and we have seen the results. Members have become so tied to the minister and not the community that when the minister leaves, they leave as well. We must instead become a “mission-focused” church. To that end, the Governing Board has created a provisional Mission Statement for First Parish that I am pleased to present to you this morning:
At First Parish Unitarian Universalist church we are called to:
Grow in Spirit;
Nurture Community and
Help Heal the World
We aimed for simple, simple enough for our youngest to remember. I like this mission. It is a mission I can sink my teeth into and it gives us a place to start. Not perfect but pithy and deep. As a mission focused church, we are not waiting for one person to rescue us, to save us or to fix our problems. We can and will do that for ourselves. As Will likes to remind me, “A good minister gets out of a congregations way.”
Rev. Peter Morales, the new President of the UUA, wrote about this very issue in his first editorial for the UUA World magazine in September. If you have not read it, please do so. You can find it easily on-line. He wrote that in order for the denomination to survive we must fundamentally “rethink how we do church.” That was his challenge to us. To fundamentally rethink we do church. It is our great challenge.
A Walk in the Forest
If you will indulge me, I would like to place us all metaphorically in the forest. We are on a path in the woods. The path is wide, well marked and well traveled. We can clearly see where we are, where we have come from and where we are headed. The path is easy to walk. It is safe, well lit and above all else, it is comfortable. We know this path. But if we continue to walk this path we are going to have to make some hard financial choices in the near future. 90% of our budget is comprised of staff salaries and when we have to make cuts in the budget in the future those cuts will be made from staff. Now, this is not necessarily a bad thing. If we choose to cut the position of Office Facilitator then we would have an office run by volunteers. Many churches do it and do it well. We may choose to cut the position of Music Director and have a choir led music program. Certainly our choir is up to the challenge based on the wonderful music we were blessed with during Summer Services. Again, not a bad choice. Or we may choose to go without a DRE and have a completely parent run RE program. Many churches do it and do it well. One final possible choice is that we decide we cannot afford to pay for a minister. We would have either part-time ministerial coverage or become a completely lay led congregation. Not a bad choice. Many churches in the UUA are lay led and the congregations are vibrant and healthy. Allison comes from a lay led congregation and she can speak to the advantages of this choice. I am not trying to scare any of you but I do want to make it very clear that if we continue to walk the safe, comfortable path we are on then we are going to need to make some hard choices in the future. I want us to make those choices with our eyes open.
A Vision of Hope
But there is another path. It would require us to make a turn off of the beaten track onto a path that is less well marked. A road less traveled, if you will. This path is harder to walk. It is at times dark and scary. It is filled with obstacles that we may be required to go over or around. We may become lost at times but I have faith that we will find our way back onto the trail. This path is going to make many of us uncomfortable. It is the path of Intentional Dynamic Growth. No, not just growth for the sake of growth; because this path has a bright, shining light at its end that is guiding us, leading us on. This bright, shining light is a Vision for First Parish of Abundance. A vision of abundance! You can plug in any word or words that work for you but I like: Abundant love. Abundant membership. Abundant fun. Abundant fellowship. Abundant money. Abundant folks in the pews on Sunday morning. Abundant hands to service. A future of Abundance. And if we choose to walk this less traveled road and if we become frightened and uncomfortable we can turn to each other for comfort. Because we would not be alone. I believe that we can reach that future of abundance for First Parish if we bring our collective passion, creativity and above all, courage to this challenge. Together, with the congregation will powering the train, we can travel very far indeed.
Thank you.
Teenage Angst
One Woman’s Perspective
By Ashley Lasbury, President
One of the challenges of raising teenagers is what I am calling “Parental Idiot Syndrome”. One moment you are the font of all wisdom and the next you know nothing. One moment you are asked to explain why the sky is blue and where the birds go in the winter and the next you are deemed clueless. It is shocking and funny at the same time. Going hand and hand with P.I.S. is an inability to suggest anything to a teenager without getting an eye roll and attitude. Add to that the fact that they are ego driven; that they tend to believe that the world revolves around them. Is it any wonder parents are eager to kick the chicks out of the nest? I know that it will change as they grow into mature adults but that doesn’t make it any easier right now.
First Parish is not a teenage child. First Parish is a faith community filled with like minded people who are wondrously diverse and strong willed. Yet there is a bit of the teenager in us all. If we haven’t thought of it ourselves then we might balk at sage advice. Especially if we do not perceive that we have a problem. Well, I do see that we have a problem. We are members of a congregation who’s numbers are in decline. This is a reality that is being faced by the entire denomination not just here at First Parish. There is only one path to an abundant future for our community: we must grow our church.
One of the easiest ways to grow a church is visitor retention. Makes sense, doesn’t it? If more of the people who choose to visit us each Sunday return the next Sunday then that increases the likelihood that they will keep on coming. If we help them connect and put down roots, if we help them to find their ministries then they will keep on coming. And the easiest path to visitor retention is if all of the active members of First Parish change the primary reason they go to church from worship or fellowship to welcoming and connecting with visitors. Now, don’t get all bent out of shape. I am not suggesting that we paint the Meeting House doors pink. What I am suggesting is that you own our challenge of growth. You know you will be fed during worship. You know that you will experience fellowship and community on Sunday morning. I am not asking you to give those up. I am asking you to change your thinking a bit. If each of us made welcoming and connecting with visitors our primary reason for attending public worship each Sunday we would be well on our way to accomplishing our goal. But if you are thinking in teenage mode you may be thinking to yourself, “Isn’t that someone else’s job?” or “Don’t we have a committee that does that?” or “Someone else can do that. Talking to strangers makes me uncomfortable.” or “I like us just the way we are.” And I, as your loving leader ask you gently and with kindness, to put the teenager aside; to open your minds and spirits; to embrace what is good for the congregation at the possible expense of what your personal desires may be. Acting with one mind and one heart we can grow our congregation together. Peace
To learn more about Intentional Dynamic Growth and where the denomination is now I recommend you watch this 15 minutes 2 part YouTube video: www.youtube.com/user/newUUorg
By Ashley Lasbury, President
One of the challenges of raising teenagers is what I am calling “Parental Idiot Syndrome”. One moment you are the font of all wisdom and the next you know nothing. One moment you are asked to explain why the sky is blue and where the birds go in the winter and the next you are deemed clueless. It is shocking and funny at the same time. Going hand and hand with P.I.S. is an inability to suggest anything to a teenager without getting an eye roll and attitude. Add to that the fact that they are ego driven; that they tend to believe that the world revolves around them. Is it any wonder parents are eager to kick the chicks out of the nest? I know that it will change as they grow into mature adults but that doesn’t make it any easier right now.
First Parish is not a teenage child. First Parish is a faith community filled with like minded people who are wondrously diverse and strong willed. Yet there is a bit of the teenager in us all. If we haven’t thought of it ourselves then we might balk at sage advice. Especially if we do not perceive that we have a problem. Well, I do see that we have a problem. We are members of a congregation who’s numbers are in decline. This is a reality that is being faced by the entire denomination not just here at First Parish. There is only one path to an abundant future for our community: we must grow our church.
One of the easiest ways to grow a church is visitor retention. Makes sense, doesn’t it? If more of the people who choose to visit us each Sunday return the next Sunday then that increases the likelihood that they will keep on coming. If we help them connect and put down roots, if we help them to find their ministries then they will keep on coming. And the easiest path to visitor retention is if all of the active members of First Parish change the primary reason they go to church from worship or fellowship to welcoming and connecting with visitors. Now, don’t get all bent out of shape. I am not suggesting that we paint the Meeting House doors pink. What I am suggesting is that you own our challenge of growth. You know you will be fed during worship. You know that you will experience fellowship and community on Sunday morning. I am not asking you to give those up. I am asking you to change your thinking a bit. If each of us made welcoming and connecting with visitors our primary reason for attending public worship each Sunday we would be well on our way to accomplishing our goal. But if you are thinking in teenage mode you may be thinking to yourself, “Isn’t that someone else’s job?” or “Don’t we have a committee that does that?” or “Someone else can do that. Talking to strangers makes me uncomfortable.” or “I like us just the way we are.” And I, as your loving leader ask you gently and with kindness, to put the teenager aside; to open your minds and spirits; to embrace what is good for the congregation at the possible expense of what your personal desires may be. Acting with one mind and one heart we can grow our congregation together. Peace
To learn more about Intentional Dynamic Growth and where the denomination is now I recommend you watch this 15 minutes 2 part YouTube video: www.youtube.com/user/newUUorg
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Sausage and Tortellini Group Soup
1 pound sweet or hot Italian sausage (out of the casings)
1 cup chopped onions
2 garlic gloves, minced or pressed
1 can diced tomatoes with juices
1/2 diced red pepper
1 stick celery, diced
1 large carrot, sliced
5-7 cups beef broth (I use Swanson's 50% less sodium beef broth)
1 TBS dried basil
1 TBS dried oregano
8-10 ounces fresh cheese tortellini
1 bag baby spinach
Saute sausage in large soup pot over medium high heat until cooked through, crumbling with the back of spoon, about 10 minutes. Transfer with slotted spoon to a bowl reserving drippings. Add enough olive oil, if needed, to make 1 TBS in bottom of pot. Saute onions and garlic until onions are translucent, about 5 minutes. Add vegetables, sausage, tomatoes, beef stock and herbs to pot and simmer for 40 minutes or until veggies are soft. Salt to taste.
10 minutes before serving add tortellini to simmering soup. 2 minutes before serving stir in the spinach. Serve with Parmesan cheese (optional). If soup becomes too thick add more broth or water.
6 servings
Enjoy.
1 cup chopped onions
2 garlic gloves, minced or pressed
1 can diced tomatoes with juices
1/2 diced red pepper
1 stick celery, diced
1 large carrot, sliced
5-7 cups beef broth (I use Swanson's 50% less sodium beef broth)
1 TBS dried basil
1 TBS dried oregano
8-10 ounces fresh cheese tortellini
1 bag baby spinach
Saute sausage in large soup pot over medium high heat until cooked through, crumbling with the back of spoon, about 10 minutes. Transfer with slotted spoon to a bowl reserving drippings. Add enough olive oil, if needed, to make 1 TBS in bottom of pot. Saute onions and garlic until onions are translucent, about 5 minutes. Add vegetables, sausage, tomatoes, beef stock and herbs to pot and simmer for 40 minutes or until veggies are soft. Salt to taste.
10 minutes before serving add tortellini to simmering soup. 2 minutes before serving stir in the spinach. Serve with Parmesan cheese (optional). If soup becomes too thick add more broth or water.
6 servings
Enjoy.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Living a Story Worth Telling
Both the Mexican tradition of El Dia de los Muertos and the Celtic tradition of Samhain can be traced back thousands of years. Both ancient cultures believed that at this time of year, when the harvest had been gathered and the dark is replacing the light, that the veil between the living and the dead becomes thin. As we have heard, Mexican families gather at their loved ones gravesides, spread blankets out on the ground, eat a meal together and tell stories. It is through those stories that beloved mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters and children are made real again. Those stories are living memory.
I love stories. I love telling them and love sitting and listening to a story well told. My grandmother, Cece, was a story teller. Her full name was Cecelia Chase Lasbury but I called her Gran. Gran filled my childhood with stories of her youth and of my ancestors. She was a powerful woman, my grandmother. Tall, elegant and strong willed. She taught me many important life lessons: not to chew gum in public (I looked like a cow chewing my cud), which fork to use when there was more then one in front of me and that a well bred lady never needed to resort to profanity in order to express herself. And she taught me not to make important life choices based on fear. One of my favorite stories of my grandmother happened when I was a teenager and we were traveling together in England. We were waking down a street in a small English village when she spied a garden she admired over a fence. Before I knew what was happening she had walked through the fence gate and asked me to take a picture of a bush she liked so that she could show it to her gardener in Camden. I was mortified. I was also sure that we were going to be arrested at any moment. Instead, due to her charm, we were invited in for tea. By sharing this story with you this morning, by speaking her name out loud, I have brought my grandmother into the room with us. The veil between the living and the dead can be made thin at any time of the year when we tell their stories. Gran’s spirit lives on within my family whenever I tell her stories.
But what happens when we do not tell the stories? When evoking a name or a memory causes such pain that we hesitate to speak? My sister died when I was nine and she was 5. As you can well imagine, my parents were devastated. As a child, I soon came to understand that it was not O.K. to talk about Katie. To this day, my mother prefers not to talk about my sister. This silence has meant that her stories have passed from living memory. When we shy away from speaking of a dead loved one because it is uncomfortable or we are told not to tell the stories, something essential is lost.
What does this mean to all of us this morning? I think a good sermon or homily should give us something to chew on. It challenges us to live better lives. Here is my question: What stories do you want to be told about you after you are dead and gone? What stories will my darling children and their children tell about me when I am gone? Will you tell the story about the time that I forgot your sister’s birthday? Or when I set the oven on fire cooking Joshua’s birthday brisket? Or when the police came to the house when we were having the minister over to dinner because two of my children, who shall remain nameless, were hanging out of the upstairs bedroom window yelling to passerby’s that they had been kidnapped and were being tortured? Yes, those stories will be told but the part that I want to be remembered are the choices that I made. That I chose to laugh and not to yell. That I lived with humor and joy and love. That is the essence of my spirit that I want those stories to contain. So my question for you is this: Are you living a story worth telling? And how do you want that story to be told?
Thursday, October 15, 2009
November Stone Soup
This afternoon I had the most extraordinary experience. I sat in the familiar pews of First Parish surrounded by over 600 people from all over the State of Maine who had come to an interfaith rally and service against discrimination. The Meeting House was packed with folk who were old and young, gay and straight, rich and poor and all of the colors of the rainbow. Yet in spite of the diversity we were united in purpose; that Maine be the first state to uphold the right of all people to marry. Catholics and Lutherans, UUs and Jews, Episcopalians and Congregationalists affirmed with one strong voice that Love was the only path. Love is the way we heal our world. Love is always worth striving for in the end.
The rally and the upcoming vote are personal for me. My eldest daughter fell in love 2 years ago with a lovely person. He is intersexual. He loves my daughter and treats her with dignity and respect. To be honest, I would not have picked this path for my beloved child as it will be a hard path to walk in the years to come. But we do not get to pick who our children will love. All we can hope for is that the relationship is healthy and nurturing to all concerned. And even though their path will be hard, it will be less so if Prop 1 is voted down. And when they marry, as they plan to do at some point in the future, they will be able to do so with all of the legal safeguards our government has to offer.
And I will dance with joy at their wedding.
Peace
The rally and the upcoming vote are personal for me. My eldest daughter fell in love 2 years ago with a lovely person. He is intersexual. He loves my daughter and treats her with dignity and respect. To be honest, I would not have picked this path for my beloved child as it will be a hard path to walk in the years to come. But we do not get to pick who our children will love. All we can hope for is that the relationship is healthy and nurturing to all concerned. And even though their path will be hard, it will be less so if Prop 1 is voted down. And when they marry, as they plan to do at some point in the future, they will be able to do so with all of the legal safeguards our government has to offer.
And I will dance with joy at their wedding.
Peace
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Stuck in my Shoes
It's happened before and it will happen again. The lure of an open microphone and a captive audience will prove to be too much of a temptation to a person with an agenda. This morning was one of those occasions. I noticed her as I was standing by the side of the lectern listening to the first announcement. I know all of the members of the congregation by face, if not by name. The well dressed woman who marched up and stood at the back of the announcement line was a stranger to me. As discretely as possible I walked down to stand by her side. I asked her in a whisper if her announcement pertained to the life of the congregation. She answered in the affirmative but would not meet my eyes. Her manner was tense and purposeful. If I had gone even one step further and asked her what the announcement was, the situation might have been averted.
She walked up to the lectern and started speaking. At once I knew that I had made a mistake. The woman was clearly angry at everyone; a member of the congregation whom she named but whom I did not recognize, her custody situation, life in general. As she continued to rant she frequently looked over in my direction as if she were waiting for me to stop her. Kitsy stood up shortly after she had started to speak but was as hesitant as I was to interrupt. So the rant continued. I was in turn horrified and transfixed. Stuck in my shoes. Finally, a member of the congregation came down from the choir loft and whispered in my ear that it was time to act. She and I approached the lectern together and we gently each took an arm and assisted her from the chancel area. As she walked down the center aisle and out the doors she continued to speak her truth in a loud and clear voice.
It was then that I heard it. Voices from the congregation. I did not hear any of the exact words that were spoken to her as she walked from the church but I do remembered the tone and it was harsh. I was shocked.
As this day has worn on I keep coming back to the incident. I am troubled and confused. When we open our doors each Sunday morning we claim to welcome any and all who choose to join us. Does that include the mentally ill? Does it include the stranger who has an axe to grind? The woman was not a danger to the congregation but where is the line? Do we have an obligation to let anyone say anything they wish, whether it be during announcements or Joys and Sorrows? She could have easily taken the microphone during Joys and Sorrows. Who decides that the content is not appropriate? The minister? The worship leader? The Head Usher? And then what? Where is that line between compassion for the speaker and the sanctity of the worship service? If I had been less kind, less trusting, less hopeful that she would finish at any moment, would the outcome have been different? If the choir member had not come down and taken the initiative would she have spoken for another 10 minutes?
The most troubling question of all for me: why were angry voices raised in response as she left the Meeting House? Yes, she should not have acted as she did but what of compassion? I have felt the same level of anger, the despair and the deep, deep frustration at a world that did not feel fair or just. I have walked in her shoes. As a faith community what do we owe the wounded, troubled souls in our midst? Why did I not follow her out of the meeting house and ask if she needed help? I have none of the answers only many, many questions.
Peace.
She walked up to the lectern and started speaking. At once I knew that I had made a mistake. The woman was clearly angry at everyone; a member of the congregation whom she named but whom I did not recognize, her custody situation, life in general. As she continued to rant she frequently looked over in my direction as if she were waiting for me to stop her. Kitsy stood up shortly after she had started to speak but was as hesitant as I was to interrupt. So the rant continued. I was in turn horrified and transfixed. Stuck in my shoes. Finally, a member of the congregation came down from the choir loft and whispered in my ear that it was time to act. She and I approached the lectern together and we gently each took an arm and assisted her from the chancel area. As she walked down the center aisle and out the doors she continued to speak her truth in a loud and clear voice.
It was then that I heard it. Voices from the congregation. I did not hear any of the exact words that were spoken to her as she walked from the church but I do remembered the tone and it was harsh. I was shocked.
As this day has worn on I keep coming back to the incident. I am troubled and confused. When we open our doors each Sunday morning we claim to welcome any and all who choose to join us. Does that include the mentally ill? Does it include the stranger who has an axe to grind? The woman was not a danger to the congregation but where is the line? Do we have an obligation to let anyone say anything they wish, whether it be during announcements or Joys and Sorrows? She could have easily taken the microphone during Joys and Sorrows. Who decides that the content is not appropriate? The minister? The worship leader? The Head Usher? And then what? Where is that line between compassion for the speaker and the sanctity of the worship service? If I had been less kind, less trusting, less hopeful that she would finish at any moment, would the outcome have been different? If the choir member had not come down and taken the initiative would she have spoken for another 10 minutes?
The most troubling question of all for me: why were angry voices raised in response as she left the Meeting House? Yes, she should not have acted as she did but what of compassion? I have felt the same level of anger, the despair and the deep, deep frustration at a world that did not feel fair or just. I have walked in her shoes. As a faith community what do we owe the wounded, troubled souls in our midst? Why did I not follow her out of the meeting house and ask if she needed help? I have none of the answers only many, many questions.
Peace.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Miracles
In coffee hour after the Water Communion service a long time member approached me and complimented me on how I had addressed the congregation at the beginning of the service. Naturally, I was flattered and I thanked her for her kind words. She asked if I had any formal training in public speaking. I explained that all of my training had been of the "on the job" variety right here at First Parish.
As I reflect back now I can't help but marvel at the personal growth I have experienced as a member of our faith community. When I joined the congregation 17 years ago I thought of myself as a true introvert. Happier alone with a book or in a small group setting, the idea of standing up and speaking to a group of strangers made my blood run cold. Coffee hour was no picnic, either. For many years I used my small children as an excuse to leave as quickly as possible after service. Coffee hour felt too much like a dreaded cocktail party for my taste. And for many of those years I avoided stepping up and offering service to my community. Having not been raised within a faith community, I thought that all that was required of me was to attend worship as often as possible and then to go home. Again, using my large family as an excuse, I said "No" whenever I was asked to serve First Parish, even if that service was of a small and limited nature.
What I did not know then but know all too well now is that by saying "Yes" I opened the door to the possibility of miracles. If one definition of a miracle is an "awakening," then service to my community has awakened aspects of my personality and spirit which might have remained shuttered and dark if I had said "No". It happened with small, cautious steps. Saying "Yes" to service on the Children's Religious Exploration committee helped me make my first real friends at First Parish but more importantly taught me how to play well with others. Saying "Yes" to ushering taught me that I could be in front of a large group of strangers without fear or nervousness. Saying "Yes" to serving on the Governing Board taught me to speak my truth with courage and to listen to others with respect. And saying "Yes" all those years ago to reading "'Twas the Night before Christmas" from the high pulpit taught me that not only could I speak in front of strangers without dying of fright but that I enjoyed doing so.
When we say "Yes" to a call for service to our community, that service is never one-sided. The community is enriched and nourished by the gift of our talent and time. But the individual is also enriched and nourished, often in surprising and miraculous ways. We are afforded the opportunity for truly transformational personal growth: of our minds and our spirits. Serving our community helps turn strangers into friends and a church into a loving community that offers us shelter and warmth in these trying times. As I enter into this first year of my presidency, I remind myself often that I said "Yes" not only for the personal joy of serving my beloved First Parish community but for the possibility of miracles.
Peace
Monday, August 31, 2009
Hello and Good-Bye
Was I the only one who felt a sense of shock, who was caught flat footed, when I read about Tim’s passing? Tim, with his eternal optimism and strength of spirit, had me convinced that he was going to be with us for many more years. Stage 4 lung cancer was not going to slow him down. I took great comfort when I thought of him in California with his family, waiting for the birth of his first grandchild, finally having a chance to read as often as he wanted and writing in his blog about his daily adventures and challenges. In the grand scheme of things, he was only with us for a very short time but his effect on our congregation, and on many of us as individuals, has been profound. His challenges and struggles become ours and as we traveled the road together we learned how to live with courage, grace and boundless love. His strength gave us strength. Before Tim joined us we talked about wanting to be a Warm and Welcoming Place
As we say good-bye to our friend and minister I am mindful that he would be telling us to prepare to say Hello to those who will be walking though our Meeting House doors soon. He wrote these words in his last post, “300 Households”, on our leadership blog on June 2nd:
….we don’t want to grow to 300 households simply for the sake of being 300 households. Rather, we have a duty and an obligation to grow this congregation to whatever size the greater Portland community requires us to be, and 300 households is merely the next easily-defined “plateau” at which we might rest. And I’m VERY confident that there are AT LEAST an additional 200+ households “out there” who would very much appreciate having First Parish in their lives, if only someone would be willing to take them by the hand and show them around. They may not even realize that this is what they are looking for; instead, they may simply be feeling a little discouraged by what they witness going on all around them; they may be feeling discouraged, unfulfilled, angry and frustrated by their inability to make a real difference. We can help them change all that...or at least help them in making a start. Besides, we need all the partners we can find in our own efforts to make this world a better place.
(To read the full post go to firstparishportland.blogspot.com/.) Tim suggested later on in the post that we get aggressive. No, we are not going to be dragging people in off the street! But we are going to practice intentional, dynamic growth. Starting in early September we will run a 3 week advertising campaign on WCLZ (98.9 FM) and a 3 month campaign on WMPG (90.9 FM). We will be broadcasting to our city who and what we are. And I have faith that they will come flocking to our church. Our great challenge is to then receive them with open arms and hearts. If you were at the Annual Meeting in May you will remember that I appointed all present as members of my Transition Team. Now I am appointing every member of the congregation to the Welcoming Team. If we do not all make the effort to welcome the stranger in our midst then it is far less likely that they will put down roots in our community. And that’s the whole point, is it not? If we just bring the newcomer through our doors but do not help them to become a vital, involved member of our community, then we have failed. (If you are interested in more information from the UUA about intentional, dynamic growth check out these two videos at http://www.youtube.com/user/newUUorg ) I am not asking you to teach the New UU class or host a pot luck supper (though let me know if you want to!); all I am asking is for each of us to smile at a stranger. Possibly extend a hand of welcome. Or ask if they enjoyed the service. This is the way the stranger becomes familiar and the familiar becomes friend. If we are all willing to take these simple steps then our dream will come true; the dream of reaching our full potential as Portland’s oldest faith community with a large and vital congregation to fill our beautiful Meeting House.
On a personal note, some of the shock and awe of becoming President has worn off in during the lazy, damp days of summer. One of the reasons I will miss Tim is that I knew if I stumbled that he would have picked me up, dusted me off and then found a way to make me laugh about the situation. My personal goal over the next two years as President is to remember to laugh and to never, ever take myself too seriously.
Off to make dinner for my children. Peace. Ashley
Monday, August 17, 2009
The Big Basketball Court in the Sky
We had gone to my Mother's house in Belfast for dinner. After two days of camping I was looking forward to her good cooking, a glass of wine and some fine conversation. Being at my Mom's also afforded me the opportunity to check my e-mail. The subject line that jumped out at me right away was about Tim. As I read about his passing I was overwhelmed with a sense of shock and disbelief. After all, I had just read a blog post from him late last week and he had sounded his usual peppy self. How could he be gone? Yes, he was sick. I understood that. But I also had believed Tim when he told me that we was going to be around for several more years. He had so many things he wanted to accomplish. So much he wanted to read and to write about. I was stunned.
God Bless my Mom. I asked her permission to leave before dinner. (My children were spending the night.) I knew I just needed to be alone. As I drove back down Rt. 1, the tears rolled down my checks. Not heaving sobs, just tears of profound sadness. When I arrived back at my father's farmhouse in Camden I put my Irish terrier on his long lead and headed out to the back fields. The sky was streaked with the early pinks of a summer sunset. Those back fields on the top of Melvin Heights are one of the places I go to find God. With my Dog. So I walked and cried and talked to Tim. Out loud. That is my way when I am upset and am trying to find peace.
The conversation went something like this:
A: I am mad at you! Why now? Why so soon?
T: Ashley, trust me, it was not part of my plan either. But Ashley....listen to me....I am not in pain any longer. I had lived with the pain for so long that I had forgotten what it is like to be free of it. It is wonderful!
A: O.K....I get it. I'm not mad anymore. But Tim, do you forgive me?
T: For what? There is nothing that I need to forgive you for.
A: Oh, but I think that there is. Tim, I know that you did not want to retire this past spring. That being our minister, that serving our congregation, brought you immense joy. And that if I and others had not pushed you gently to retire that we would have saved you much heartache.
T: Ashley, there is nothing to forgive. That's just a remnant of your old Catholic guilt talking. Yes, at the time I wanted desperately to stay with you all in Portland. Being your minister and serving First Parish was what I had worked for all of my days. I was living my dreams and it doesn't get any better then that. But I can now see that if you all had not helped me to let go and to move on that I would not have had the very special and important time with my family and friends that these last few months afforded us. As you know from being a faithful reader of my blog, I was able to spend quality time with all of those who were so dear to me. And now we both know how important that time was. It was my chance to say good-bye.
Ashley, your challenge is to stop remembering those times I cried in our last months together (damn those drugs!!!) but of all of the times I laughed. And all of the times I made you laugh. Remember those times when you think of me. Can you do that?
A: I can try, Tim, I can try. You certainly knew how to make me laugh. Although, can I tell you a secret? You were so much smarter then me that some of the time I didn't get the joke but laughed anyway. Is that wrong?
T: No. No. No. Not wrong, just kind.
A: So, Tim, what the heck do I do now?
T: You know what to do, Ashley. First you help the congregation mourn and heal. Honestly, I hope that you will gather everyone together and just tell "Tim" stories. And laugh together and comfort one another. Maybe order some wings in my honor.
Then you do what we talked about. You lead with humor. You help grow new leaders. You help folks find their ministry. You continue to be the warm and welcoming place that we dreamed First Parish can be. Keep it simple. Delegate. Find cause to celebrate. You already know this stuff. When in doubt, just go back and read this blog. It is all there for you and whoever else is looking for wisdom and guidance. Hey... now that I'm dead can I claim that I was wise?
A: Oh, Tim....yes, you can claim wisdom. You were also courageous, generous, patient, funny and compassionate. I'll miss you. We all will miss you.
T: Don't miss me too much. I will be with you in spirit. Hey, I got to go. There's a pick-up game about to start and I want to be on the same team as Emerson and Thoreau. Man, is it great to be able to go up for a jump shot again! Peace, Ashley.
Peace, Tim.
God Bless my Mom. I asked her permission to leave before dinner. (My children were spending the night.) I knew I just needed to be alone. As I drove back down Rt. 1, the tears rolled down my checks. Not heaving sobs, just tears of profound sadness. When I arrived back at my father's farmhouse in Camden I put my Irish terrier on his long lead and headed out to the back fields. The sky was streaked with the early pinks of a summer sunset. Those back fields on the top of Melvin Heights are one of the places I go to find God. With my Dog. So I walked and cried and talked to Tim. Out loud. That is my way when I am upset and am trying to find peace.
The conversation went something like this:
A: I am mad at you! Why now? Why so soon?
T: Ashley, trust me, it was not part of my plan either. But Ashley....listen to me....I am not in pain any longer. I had lived with the pain for so long that I had forgotten what it is like to be free of it. It is wonderful!
A: O.K....I get it. I'm not mad anymore. But Tim, do you forgive me?
T: For what? There is nothing that I need to forgive you for.
A: Oh, but I think that there is. Tim, I know that you did not want to retire this past spring. That being our minister, that serving our congregation, brought you immense joy. And that if I and others had not pushed you gently to retire that we would have saved you much heartache.
T: Ashley, there is nothing to forgive. That's just a remnant of your old Catholic guilt talking. Yes, at the time I wanted desperately to stay with you all in Portland. Being your minister and serving First Parish was what I had worked for all of my days. I was living my dreams and it doesn't get any better then that. But I can now see that if you all had not helped me to let go and to move on that I would not have had the very special and important time with my family and friends that these last few months afforded us. As you know from being a faithful reader of my blog, I was able to spend quality time with all of those who were so dear to me. And now we both know how important that time was. It was my chance to say good-bye.
Ashley, your challenge is to stop remembering those times I cried in our last months together (damn those drugs!!!) but of all of the times I laughed. And all of the times I made you laugh. Remember those times when you think of me. Can you do that?
A: I can try, Tim, I can try. You certainly knew how to make me laugh. Although, can I tell you a secret? You were so much smarter then me that some of the time I didn't get the joke but laughed anyway. Is that wrong?
T: No. No. No. Not wrong, just kind.
A: So, Tim, what the heck do I do now?
T: You know what to do, Ashley. First you help the congregation mourn and heal. Honestly, I hope that you will gather everyone together and just tell "Tim" stories. And laugh together and comfort one another. Maybe order some wings in my honor.
Then you do what we talked about. You lead with humor. You help grow new leaders. You help folks find their ministry. You continue to be the warm and welcoming place that we dreamed First Parish can be. Keep it simple. Delegate. Find cause to celebrate. You already know this stuff. When in doubt, just go back and read this blog. It is all there for you and whoever else is looking for wisdom and guidance. Hey... now that I'm dead can I claim that I was wise?
A: Oh, Tim....yes, you can claim wisdom. You were also courageous, generous, patient, funny and compassionate. I'll miss you. We all will miss you.
T: Don't miss me too much. I will be with you in spirit. Hey, I got to go. There's a pick-up game about to start and I want to be on the same team as Emerson and Thoreau. Man, is it great to be able to go up for a jump shot again! Peace, Ashley.
Peace, Tim.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
300 Households
At the congregational meeting last Sunday, Search Committee member Jeff Logan announced that one of the things we are looking at as a congregation is starting a blog. And I wish I’d had the presence of mind at the time to mention that this congregation already HAS a blog, and you’re reading it right now! So far I’m the only one who has posted here, but there are others (at the moment Will Saunders, Steve Jenks, and Ashley Lansbury) who all can any time they like, and I hope you will choose to add others as well. It’s a good way to communicate about the things that are important to us all, as well as an archive of good ideas and our on-going plans.
Last Sunday Ashley also mentioned her personal goal of growing First Parish from the 100+ household congregation we are now to something in the 300-350+ range -- a so-called “Program-sized” church. It’s a tough transition, because there are a lot of advantages to remaining a church of 100: the relationships tend to be more personal and easily-formed, for example, and it is even possible to know everyone in the church. This can be true of a larger church as well, but first one needs to recognize that larger congregations are highly-structured institutions -- organizations rather than “organisms.” They might best be thought of as a collection of overlapping communities, rather than a single large community in its own right. And simply recognizing that in itself requires a big change of attitude
But more importantly, we don’t want to grow to 300 households simply for the sake of being 300 households. Rather, we have a duty and an obligation to grow this congregation to whatever size the greater Portland community requires us to be, and 300 households is merely the next easily-defined “plateau” at which we might rest. And I’m VERY confident that there are AT LEAST an additional 200+ households “out there” who would very much appreciate having First Parish in their lives, if only someone would be willing to take them by the hand and show them around. They may not even realize that this is what they are looking for; instead, they may simply be feeling a little discouraged by what they witness going on all around them; they may be feeling discouraged, unfulfilled, angry and frustrated by their inability to make a real difference. We can help them change all that...or at least help them in making a start. Besides, we need all the partners we can find in our own efforts to make this world a better place.
Of course, we can always just sit here in the heart of the city, through open our windows and our doors, and receive whomsoever is sent. It’s a good ministry of “radical hospitality,” and an important one as well. But the big advantage of going out and GETTING these new members (as Ashley suggested Sunday) is that we get to cherry-pick a little: we get to invite our friends, or people we have met at other progressive venues who you just might enjoy getting to know a little better after worshiping together. Get aggressive: they may very well already know that you attend this church, and are wondering why you haven’t invited them already. Pick something special: special music, or a special ritual (like the Flower Communion), or perhaps a high-profile guest speaker. Every Sunday can be “bring a friend” Sunday, if only you decide to treat it that way.
Finally, and this is VERY important, we are NOT inviting people to join this congregation so that they can help us to pay our bills. So just put that idea right out of your head right now. Of course as our programs and expenses go, we will encourage our newer members to contribute their fair share -- principally by practicing financial transparency (which includes simplicity as well as accuracy) and setting a good example ourselves. But if anything, this outreach initiative is going to COST us money -- and we all need to know that and accept that going into it. But just as our spiritual ancestors here at First Parish invested in us, we have a duty to invest our resources in those who will follow us here. It’s both a duty and a privilege, for to those to whom much has been given, much will be expected as well.
Last Sunday Ashley also mentioned her personal goal of growing First Parish from the 100+ household congregation we are now to something in the 300-350+ range -- a so-called “Program-sized” church. It’s a tough transition, because there are a lot of advantages to remaining a church of 100: the relationships tend to be more personal and easily-formed, for example, and it is even possible to know everyone in the church. This can be true of a larger church as well, but first one needs to recognize that larger congregations are highly-structured institutions -- organizations rather than “organisms.” They might best be thought of as a collection of overlapping communities, rather than a single large community in its own right. And simply recognizing that in itself requires a big change of attitude
But more importantly, we don’t want to grow to 300 households simply for the sake of being 300 households. Rather, we have a duty and an obligation to grow this congregation to whatever size the greater Portland community requires us to be, and 300 households is merely the next easily-defined “plateau” at which we might rest. And I’m VERY confident that there are AT LEAST an additional 200+ households “out there” who would very much appreciate having First Parish in their lives, if only someone would be willing to take them by the hand and show them around. They may not even realize that this is what they are looking for; instead, they may simply be feeling a little discouraged by what they witness going on all around them; they may be feeling discouraged, unfulfilled, angry and frustrated by their inability to make a real difference. We can help them change all that...or at least help them in making a start. Besides, we need all the partners we can find in our own efforts to make this world a better place.
Of course, we can always just sit here in the heart of the city, through open our windows and our doors, and receive whomsoever is sent. It’s a good ministry of “radical hospitality,” and an important one as well. But the big advantage of going out and GETTING these new members (as Ashley suggested Sunday) is that we get to cherry-pick a little: we get to invite our friends, or people we have met at other progressive venues who you just might enjoy getting to know a little better after worshiping together. Get aggressive: they may very well already know that you attend this church, and are wondering why you haven’t invited them already. Pick something special: special music, or a special ritual (like the Flower Communion), or perhaps a high-profile guest speaker. Every Sunday can be “bring a friend” Sunday, if only you decide to treat it that way.
Finally, and this is VERY important, we are NOT inviting people to join this congregation so that they can help us to pay our bills. So just put that idea right out of your head right now. Of course as our programs and expenses go, we will encourage our newer members to contribute their fair share -- principally by practicing financial transparency (which includes simplicity as well as accuracy) and setting a good example ourselves. But if anything, this outreach initiative is going to COST us money -- and we all need to know that and accept that going into it. But just as our spiritual ancestors here at First Parish invested in us, we have a duty to invest our resources in those who will follow us here. It’s both a duty and a privilege, for to those to whom much has been given, much will be expected as well.
Monday, June 1, 2009
THE ECLECTIC CLERIC - “Execution”
In sport we see it so often it’s become a cliche. When it comes right down to the final seconds, when it’s crunch time and the game is on the line, the ONLY thing that really matters is whether or not your team can EXECUTE. Sure, it’s nice to have the right people in the line-up, and the perfect game plan all prepared. But unless those people can get it done -- perform in real time what you’ve drawn up on paper -- you might as well all just go home.
And it doesn’t just happen in sports. It’s a problem in business and in every other human organization I can think of, including churches. In fact, especially churches -- where so much to the important work is done by volunteers, with limited time, minimal training, an abundance of good ideas and a very complicated playing field.
But here are some ideas for better execution, both at church and in the wider world:
• Keep it Simple. Circumstances will complicate matters plenty on their own. So plan and stick to something that you know you can make work, and that will have the most meaningful impact. As my Dad (a process improvement consultant, among many other things) often says, it’s more important to do the right things than to try to do everything right. So concentrate on figuring out what those things are, and keep it all as simple as possible.
• Plan to Practice. Practice to Improve. I don’t think anyone ever does things perfectly the first time around, and for most of us perfection is just an abstract goal anyway. But recognize that there is a learning curve to any activity, and plan to take advantage of that by integrating what you learn into your plan.
• Know your Role and your Goals. Sometimes it really helps to figure out what to do if you know the outcome you are hoping to achieve. And likewise, if each “player” on the team knows and understands what his or her role is, it becomes a lot easier for everyone to work together in harmony.
To turn this around for just a moment, one of the essential tasks of Leadership is to be able to communicate that vision, and to explain and teach to every member of their team exactly what is expected of them, and how to accomplish it.
Rarely do organizations fail for lack of good ideas. Most folks I know have more good ideas in the course of a week than they could every hope to accomplish in a lifetime. The key is to focus on the RIGHT ideas, to keep the process as simple as possible, and to continue to practice and improve until you can execute like clockwork in crunch time EVERY time. That’s what seperates the winners from the losers, and the champions from the also-rans. And it really is in your hands now. So hands in, on three: TEAM!...............twj
And it doesn’t just happen in sports. It’s a problem in business and in every other human organization I can think of, including churches. In fact, especially churches -- where so much to the important work is done by volunteers, with limited time, minimal training, an abundance of good ideas and a very complicated playing field.
But here are some ideas for better execution, both at church and in the wider world:
• Keep it Simple. Circumstances will complicate matters plenty on their own. So plan and stick to something that you know you can make work, and that will have the most meaningful impact. As my Dad (a process improvement consultant, among many other things) often says, it’s more important to do the right things than to try to do everything right. So concentrate on figuring out what those things are, and keep it all as simple as possible.
• Plan to Practice. Practice to Improve. I don’t think anyone ever does things perfectly the first time around, and for most of us perfection is just an abstract goal anyway. But recognize that there is a learning curve to any activity, and plan to take advantage of that by integrating what you learn into your plan.
• Know your Role and your Goals. Sometimes it really helps to figure out what to do if you know the outcome you are hoping to achieve. And likewise, if each “player” on the team knows and understands what his or her role is, it becomes a lot easier for everyone to work together in harmony.
To turn this around for just a moment, one of the essential tasks of Leadership is to be able to communicate that vision, and to explain and teach to every member of their team exactly what is expected of them, and how to accomplish it.
Rarely do organizations fail for lack of good ideas. Most folks I know have more good ideas in the course of a week than they could every hope to accomplish in a lifetime. The key is to focus on the RIGHT ideas, to keep the process as simple as possible, and to continue to practice and improve until you can execute like clockwork in crunch time EVERY time. That’s what seperates the winners from the losers, and the champions from the also-rans. And it really is in your hands now. So hands in, on three: TEAM!...............twj
Thursday, May 14, 2009
A "theory" of Worship?
The Rev. Erik Walker Wikstrom, until a few years ago our neighbor at the First Universalist Church in Yarmouth ME, and more recently now the Worship and Music Resources Director for the Unitarian Universalist Association was back here in Maine this past Wednesday to share some of his ideas about worship with the Maine chapter of the Unitarian Universalist Ministers Association, which just so happened to be meeting here at First Parish. Among the resources Erik shared was his list of the Top Ten Things You Can Do To Improve Worship, three of which resonated very powerfully in my own experience. Tend Your Own Spiritual Garden, Make Sure There's Something To Learn By Heart, and Strive For Excellence. The other seven are good as well, but these three are really special.
Erik also inspired me to look again at Wayne Arnason and Kathleen Rolenz's recent book Worship That Works: Theory and Practice for Unitarian Universalists. In particular, Wayne and Kathleen write about the "four dynamic forces that influence how a congregations worships," and which are "often beyond the control of the worship leader to directly influence in a short period of time." To frame this in a more positive tone, in order to lead meaningful worship for the congregations we serve, those services need to be authentic to the Founding Culture of the congregation, respect and embrace the existing Worship Traditions, acknowledge the normative Musical Baseline, and be appropriate to the Physical Space in which the worship takes place.
Over time, with trust, and in partnership with the people, a good worship leader can expand and maybe even change these dynamics, but they will probably never be able simply to ignore them or replace them with something entirely new. Rather, "the dimensions of worship -- the ability of the service to engage mind, heart, body, and spirit, to touch all the senses, to appeal to diverse generations and cultures -- arise from something beyond the will and creativity of the worship leader." It's not about us, boys and girls, not by a long shot. It's about our ability and our willingness to invoke the Spirit, and allow that Spirit to flow within us and through us and out again amongst the people in ways that feel at once both familiar and transformative [Nov 28, 2007].
Of course there is also always the popular old-school alternative view: "If you want to fill the church, fill the pulpit." Even in a denomination blessed with as many good preachers as we have, the truly great ones are few and far between. It's hard to argue with the success they enjoy though...both in theory AND in practice.... But fnding a good preacher and offering them Freedom of the Pulpit needs to be reciprocated by finding a preacher who will also respect and understand the "four dynamic influences" within the congregation they are serving, and adapt their style to fit the context.
Finally, how does one become a great preacher? Good question -- lots of practice to start with, I would guess. But the right kind of practice too -- not the kind that simply ingrains bad habits, but rather a discipline that grows new strengths. And there are classes one can take, and certainly plenty to read...both about preaching and worship, and about life and the human condition in general. (I think that's number four on Erik's list: "Read Poetry and Novels"). But tending your own spiritual garden, learning some of what your read by heart (the poetry in particular), and striving for excellence are three very good disciplines as well. Good Luck! And may your worship always be profoundly inspirational, and deeply devotional, and filled with the good feeling of community -- the love of God and the love of neighbor, and the love of strangers as if they are our neighbors, fellow children of God, and thus all brothers and sisters to one another....
Erik also inspired me to look again at Wayne Arnason and Kathleen Rolenz's recent book Worship That Works: Theory and Practice for Unitarian Universalists. In particular, Wayne and Kathleen write about the "four dynamic forces that influence how a congregations worships," and which are "often beyond the control of the worship leader to directly influence in a short period of time." To frame this in a more positive tone, in order to lead meaningful worship for the congregations we serve, those services need to be authentic to the Founding Culture of the congregation, respect and embrace the existing Worship Traditions, acknowledge the normative Musical Baseline, and be appropriate to the Physical Space in which the worship takes place.
Over time, with trust, and in partnership with the people, a good worship leader can expand and maybe even change these dynamics, but they will probably never be able simply to ignore them or replace them with something entirely new. Rather, "the dimensions of worship -- the ability of the service to engage mind, heart, body, and spirit, to touch all the senses, to appeal to diverse generations and cultures -- arise from something beyond the will and creativity of the worship leader." It's not about us, boys and girls, not by a long shot. It's about our ability and our willingness to invoke the Spirit, and allow that Spirit to flow within us and through us and out again amongst the people in ways that feel at once both familiar and transformative [Nov 28, 2007].
Of course there is also always the popular old-school alternative view: "If you want to fill the church, fill the pulpit." Even in a denomination blessed with as many good preachers as we have, the truly great ones are few and far between. It's hard to argue with the success they enjoy though...both in theory AND in practice.... But fnding a good preacher and offering them Freedom of the Pulpit needs to be reciprocated by finding a preacher who will also respect and understand the "four dynamic influences" within the congregation they are serving, and adapt their style to fit the context.
Finally, how does one become a great preacher? Good question -- lots of practice to start with, I would guess. But the right kind of practice too -- not the kind that simply ingrains bad habits, but rather a discipline that grows new strengths. And there are classes one can take, and certainly plenty to read...both about preaching and worship, and about life and the human condition in general. (I think that's number four on Erik's list: "Read Poetry and Novels"). But tending your own spiritual garden, learning some of what your read by heart (the poetry in particular), and striving for excellence are three very good disciplines as well. Good Luck! And may your worship always be profoundly inspirational, and deeply devotional, and filled with the good feeling of community -- the love of God and the love of neighbor, and the love of strangers as if they are our neighbors, fellow children of God, and thus all brothers and sisters to one another....
Friday, May 1, 2009
THE ECLECTIC CLERIC - “Mother, May I?"
***
Now that the month of May is fast upon us, I am down to my final two appearances in the pulpit here at First Parish. On May 10th, Mother’s Day, I will be preaching on the topic “Wir Alles sind Gotts Kinder” (“We are all God’s children” -- I’ll explain why the German in the Sermon), and then on Memorial Day weekend (Sunday May 24th) will be my last appearance ever as your settled parish minister, title and topic still to be determined.
These last two sermons will also represent the 653rd and 654th sermons of my career, as well as the 43rd and 44th sermons I have delivered to this congregation, beginning with the very first sermon I preached here as a candidate on Mother’s Day two years ago -- the same day I discovered that my own mother had been hospitalized with a recurrence of her cancer, a cancer that would eventually take her life in a matter of only a few weeks.
The title of that first candidating sermon: “A Warm & Welcoming Place in the Heart of the City,” has continued to provide the theme for everything else we’ve attempted to do together here these past two years, through both my cancer and an economic meltdown that has touched the lives of just about everyone I know, both neighbor and stranger alike. Likewise, the distance we have traveled together in that time: spiritually, socially, psychologically, emotionally...seems immense.
And yet, in the greater scheme of things it is really only the blink of an eye: about 4% of my current life span (although perhaps 50% of my current life expectancy), less than six-tenths of one per cent of the history of First Parish itself. And I have no way whatsoever of measuring the effect that my ministry may have had on any of your lives personally, but I hope that it has been a meaningful and positive one.
As I have said on several other occasions, the privilege of being someone’s minister is NOT something clergy receive on account of our education or our credentials, or ultimately even as a result of our elective “call” and the subsequent covenantal relationship we enter into structured by the rules and traditions of our ecclesiastical polity. Rather, it is a relationship we earn one individual at a time, each time someone new decides we are worthy of being THEIR minister, and entrusts us with that sacred responsibility.
So thank you so much, all of you who have found me trustworthy in this way these past two years. As I prepare to return home now to the West Coast, to be closer to my family and to give 100% of my attention to fighing this disease, knowing that I carry with me the prayers and good wishes of so many of you makes a huge difference. Thank you so much for the privilege of having been your minister. And thank you again for the many ways that you have ministered to me as well.............twj
Now that the month of May is fast upon us, I am down to my final two appearances in the pulpit here at First Parish. On May 10th, Mother’s Day, I will be preaching on the topic “Wir Alles sind Gotts Kinder” (“We are all God’s children” -- I’ll explain why the German in the Sermon), and then on Memorial Day weekend (Sunday May 24th) will be my last appearance ever as your settled parish minister, title and topic still to be determined.
These last two sermons will also represent the 653rd and 654th sermons of my career, as well as the 43rd and 44th sermons I have delivered to this congregation, beginning with the very first sermon I preached here as a candidate on Mother’s Day two years ago -- the same day I discovered that my own mother had been hospitalized with a recurrence of her cancer, a cancer that would eventually take her life in a matter of only a few weeks.
The title of that first candidating sermon: “A Warm & Welcoming Place in the Heart of the City,” has continued to provide the theme for everything else we’ve attempted to do together here these past two years, through both my cancer and an economic meltdown that has touched the lives of just about everyone I know, both neighbor and stranger alike. Likewise, the distance we have traveled together in that time: spiritually, socially, psychologically, emotionally...seems immense.
And yet, in the greater scheme of things it is really only the blink of an eye: about 4% of my current life span (although perhaps 50% of my current life expectancy), less than six-tenths of one per cent of the history of First Parish itself. And I have no way whatsoever of measuring the effect that my ministry may have had on any of your lives personally, but I hope that it has been a meaningful and positive one.
As I have said on several other occasions, the privilege of being someone’s minister is NOT something clergy receive on account of our education or our credentials, or ultimately even as a result of our elective “call” and the subsequent covenantal relationship we enter into structured by the rules and traditions of our ecclesiastical polity. Rather, it is a relationship we earn one individual at a time, each time someone new decides we are worthy of being THEIR minister, and entrusts us with that sacred responsibility.
So thank you so much, all of you who have found me trustworthy in this way these past two years. As I prepare to return home now to the West Coast, to be closer to my family and to give 100% of my attention to fighing this disease, knowing that I carry with me the prayers and good wishes of so many of you makes a huge difference. Thank you so much for the privilege of having been your minister. And thank you again for the many ways that you have ministered to me as well.............twj
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Church Shopping
OK, this is all now Old News. But it's also still good news for churches like ours, if we are in a position to take advantage of it. What are the three most important qualities newcomers are looking for when seeking a new church? Believe it or not, it has almost NOTHING to do with theological orientation, political correctness, or denominational affiliation. Rather, the three most important factors seem to be
1) Location: how close is it to my home? how long will it take for me to get there? how easy will it be for me to find a place to park, etc. etc.
2) Leadership: in particular, how much do I like the minister, and do they really seem to practice what they preach? Is the minister open-minded or judgmental? Genuinely interested in me, or only interested in what I can contribute to the church?"
3) Overall Fit and Friendliness: do I really feel at home here, or is something just not right? How welcome do I feel, are people glad to see me, how easy has it been to form "honest to God" friendships?
It almost goes without saying that people who have been members of a particular congregation for a significant period of time tend to forget what their church looks like to someone who is passing through the doors for the first time. That first impression is critical; I've even seen research suggesting that most first-time visitors have made up their minds about whether or not they will return within about 30 seconds of their arrival. The second visit is even more important; if there is just one person there who remembers the newcomer and greets them by name, the odds of that person eventually becoming a formal member of the congregation skyrocket. So make up your mind to meet someone new yourself this next Sunday. Sure, you could make a mistake, and accidently greet someone who has been attending First Parish for 20 years. But that wouldn't be such a bad thing either, would it?
1) Location: how close is it to my home? how long will it take for me to get there? how easy will it be for me to find a place to park, etc. etc.
2) Leadership: in particular, how much do I like the minister, and do they really seem to practice what they preach? Is the minister open-minded or judgmental? Genuinely interested in me, or only interested in what I can contribute to the church?"
3) Overall Fit and Friendliness: do I really feel at home here, or is something just not right? How welcome do I feel, are people glad to see me, how easy has it been to form "honest to God" friendships?
It almost goes without saying that people who have been members of a particular congregation for a significant period of time tend to forget what their church looks like to someone who is passing through the doors for the first time. That first impression is critical; I've even seen research suggesting that most first-time visitors have made up their minds about whether or not they will return within about 30 seconds of their arrival. The second visit is even more important; if there is just one person there who remembers the newcomer and greets them by name, the odds of that person eventually becoming a formal member of the congregation skyrocket. So make up your mind to meet someone new yourself this next Sunday. Sure, you could make a mistake, and accidently greet someone who has been attending First Parish for 20 years. But that wouldn't be such a bad thing either, would it?
Friday, April 24, 2009
Four Stages of Stewardship
A colleague of mine posted these to one of the ministerial internet CHAT-groups I read. I thought it was interesting, so I'm passing it along.
The Consumer pays for services received. The church is a store.
The Co-Op Member pays fair share of expenses. The church is a shared facility -- like a cabin shared by siblings.
The Owner invests more than necessary to create more. The church is a small business enterprise.
The Benefactor invests for the benefit of others with no hope of personal return. The church is a gift to the future.
Of course, my reflections didn't end there either. Because this list also reminded me of the "Golden Ladder of Giving" by the medieval Jewish philosopher Maimonides, which I first learned about from "Building Your Own Theology."
Maimonides' Eight Degrees of Charity (from about.com/judaism)
8. When donations are given grudgingly.
7. When one gives less than he should, but does so cheerfully.
6. When one gives directly to the poor upon being asked.
5. When one gives directly to the poor without being asked.
4. When the recipient is aware of the donor's identity, but the donor does not know the identity of the recipient.
3. When the donor is aware of the recipient's identity, but the recipient is unaware of the source.
2. When the donor and recipient are unknown to each other.
1. The highest form of charity is to help sustain a person before they become impoverished by offering a substantial gift in a dignified manner, or by extending a suitable loan, or by helping them find employment or establish themselves in business so as to make it unnecessary for them to become dependent on others.
In these hard economic times, the mission of the church becomes ever more pressing and essential. But for those of us who have been fortunate enough to still have the ability to be generous, perhaps these words will be an inspiration to become true benefactors, both to neighbors known and unknown.
The Consumer pays for services received. The church is a store.
The Co-Op Member pays fair share of expenses. The church is a shared facility -- like a cabin shared by siblings.
The Owner invests more than necessary to create more. The church is a small business enterprise.
The Benefactor invests for the benefit of others with no hope of personal return. The church is a gift to the future.
Of course, my reflections didn't end there either. Because this list also reminded me of the "Golden Ladder of Giving" by the medieval Jewish philosopher Maimonides, which I first learned about from "Building Your Own Theology."
Maimonides' Eight Degrees of Charity (from about.com/judaism)
8. When donations are given grudgingly.
7. When one gives less than he should, but does so cheerfully.
6. When one gives directly to the poor upon being asked.
5. When one gives directly to the poor without being asked.
4. When the recipient is aware of the donor's identity, but the donor does not know the identity of the recipient.
3. When the donor is aware of the recipient's identity, but the recipient is unaware of the source.
2. When the donor and recipient are unknown to each other.
1. The highest form of charity is to help sustain a person before they become impoverished by offering a substantial gift in a dignified manner, or by extending a suitable loan, or by helping them find employment or establish themselves in business so as to make it unnecessary for them to become dependent on others.
In these hard economic times, the mission of the church becomes ever more pressing and essential. But for those of us who have been fortunate enough to still have the ability to be generous, perhaps these words will be an inspiration to become true benefactors, both to neighbors known and unknown.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Tempus Fugit
***
How Time Flies. And before too long, Tim will be flying out of here as well. With only a couple of months left in his tenure here at First Parish, the opportunities for saying our personal “fare-wells” are quickly disappearing.
But the Committee on Ministry is planning a variety of occasions to help remedy this situation. For starters, there is always your old fashioned “BLCS” appointment. “Breakfast, Lunch, Coffee, Supper” -- just pick a date (or two, just in case), pick up the phone, call Tim at his local number [(207) 233-7035 - you can also e-mail him at uucleric
Another option is to host a small party for Tim and a handful of other church members in your own home. Again, this doesn’t have to be elaborate: it can be anything from a traditional church potluck or sit-down dinner party to delivery pizza or some kind of take-out. There are plenty of dates available to do this; Tim is basically free every night except the Saturdays before he preaches (May 9th and May 23rd) or when otherwise committed to attend a church committee meeting. Once again, if you would like to host a party like this, it is best first to confirm a time and date with Tim, and then set out to plan the menu and the guest list.
Finally, the COM is coordinating a handful of events at church for people who prefer to say their good-byes in public. These include after-church get-togethers similar to the “Meet the Minister” sessions for newcomers, as well as an all-church reception and picnic following Tim’s final sermon here Memorial Day weekend, May 24th.
Tim’s time among us has been much too short, but profoundly intense. Please take the time to tell Tim what his ministry has meant to you, and to wish him well in his on-going battle with cancer. In the long run, we think you will be happy that you did.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
THE ECLECTIC CLERIC - “Spring is sprung...
***
the grass is riz, I wonder where the flowers is?” This brief bit of doggrel verse is one of my many memories from childhood, something that I learned from my father, and he no doubt from his father before that...passed down perhaps through so many generations that its actual origins are lost in obscurity.
There are lots of things in our lives like this, and the accuracy of their transmission is no guarantee of the quality of their content. Communications theorists sometimes call them “memes” -- tiny snippets of information which combine together as bits of code in order to form larger patterns of meaning, in much the same way that our “genes” combine together to create a genetic code that both defines who we are in a biological sense, and is passed down to subsequent generations as well.
As I prepare to leave First Parish, I find myself wondering what my “memetic” legacy to this congregation will be in years to come. I hope, for example, that the value of Radical Hospitality, and the vision of being “A Warm & Welcoming Place in the Heart of the City,” will both continue to thrive and grow here. These are ideas that I both brought with me, and that I also learned from you in an authentic and “honest to God” process of memetic cross-pollination. “Open all the windows and the doors, and receive whomsoever is sent.” It’s a worthwhile goal worthy of our faithful devotion. Yet it also requires a commitment to being “accessible to otherness,” and greeting neighbors and strangers alike with loving hearts, open minds, and helping hands.
I also hope that the support, encouragement, and gracious generosity that you have shown to me as I have wrestled with my illness will continue to be part of the personality of this congregation. Generosity breeds Gratitude and Gratitude in return breeds Generosity -- it is a classic “positive feedback loop” that has the potential to save the world from itself. So embrace these values in your own lives, teach them to your children and to their children, and know that with each good deed you do you plant the seed for another somewhere down the line.
Finally, I hope that this congregation will remember as fondly as I will the robust Spirit that filled the Meetinghouse the week I originally candidated here in May 2007, and again at my Installation the following Spring, and especially at last year’s Easter Sunday service, which might well have turned out to have been the last sermon I preached in my ministerial career. As it did turn out, thanks to your support I was able to return to the pulpit this past fall -- perhaps not as good as I ever was, but I hope good enough to serve!
Now I’m off in a few months the West Coast (and ultimately to the San Francisco Bay Area) to rest, recuperate and recover as best I can at my Father’s place in Fair Oaks. No one can say with any certainty what the future may bring, but I know my prayers are for ongoing vitality and prosperity here at First Parish, and for a long and happy life for myself. And may we all feel blessed by the too-short-of-time we shared together, and grieve the lose of “what might have been.”
the grass is riz, I wonder where the flowers is?” This brief bit of doggrel verse is one of my many memories from childhood, something that I learned from my father, and he no doubt from his father before that...passed down perhaps through so many generations that its actual origins are lost in obscurity.
There are lots of things in our lives like this, and the accuracy of their transmission is no guarantee of the quality of their content. Communications theorists sometimes call them “memes” -- tiny snippets of information which combine together as bits of code in order to form larger patterns of meaning, in much the same way that our “genes” combine together to create a genetic code that both defines who we are in a biological sense, and is passed down to subsequent generations as well.
As I prepare to leave First Parish, I find myself wondering what my “memetic” legacy to this congregation will be in years to come. I hope, for example, that the value of Radical Hospitality, and the vision of being “A Warm & Welcoming Place in the Heart of the City,” will both continue to thrive and grow here. These are ideas that I both brought with me, and that I also learned from you in an authentic and “honest to God” process of memetic cross-pollination. “Open all the windows and the doors, and receive whomsoever is sent.” It’s a worthwhile goal worthy of our faithful devotion. Yet it also requires a commitment to being “accessible to otherness,” and greeting neighbors and strangers alike with loving hearts, open minds, and helping hands.
I also hope that the support, encouragement, and gracious generosity that you have shown to me as I have wrestled with my illness will continue to be part of the personality of this congregation. Generosity breeds Gratitude and Gratitude in return breeds Generosity -- it is a classic “positive feedback loop” that has the potential to save the world from itself. So embrace these values in your own lives, teach them to your children and to their children, and know that with each good deed you do you plant the seed for another somewhere down the line.
Finally, I hope that this congregation will remember as fondly as I will the robust Spirit that filled the Meetinghouse the week I originally candidated here in May 2007, and again at my Installation the following Spring, and especially at last year’s Easter Sunday service, which might well have turned out to have been the last sermon I preached in my ministerial career. As it did turn out, thanks to your support I was able to return to the pulpit this past fall -- perhaps not as good as I ever was, but I hope good enough to serve!
Now I’m off in a few months the West Coast (and ultimately to the San Francisco Bay Area) to rest, recuperate and recover as best I can at my Father’s place in Fair Oaks. No one can say with any certainty what the future may bring, but I know my prayers are for ongoing vitality and prosperity here at First Parish, and for a long and happy life for myself. And may we all feel blessed by the too-short-of-time we shared together, and grieve the lose of “what might have been.”
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Minister's Spring 2009 Stewardship Letter
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.
I have some good news and some bad news about next year’s church operating budget.
The good news is that we already have all the money we need.
The bad news is that it is still in your pockets.
These days the state of the economy is unavoidably on everybody’s mind. Mortgage forclosures and the banking crisis, job lay-offs and the sad state of the stock market are all front page news; and none of us can really feel confident that our own situation is truly secure, no matter how secure we may feel at the moment.
Yet is is also at times like these that people need the church more than ever. Need a feeling of safety and sanctuary, and a place to renew their sense of connectedness to one another and to All-That-Is. Need a time and a place to seek inspiration and encouragement, and to express their devotion to and gratitude for the Spirit that gives us life and give life meaning. And yes, need a place to live out the values of compassion and generosity, just as others come here needing to benefit from benevolence of their neighbors.
Over and over again in my 30-some years of parish ministry, I have observed that even the healthiest of churches never seem to have enough money to do everything they dream of doing, but almost always seem to be able to come up with enough to do the things they feel they absolutely need to do.
For generation after generation, through wars and fires, panics, recessions and a great depression, the people of First Parish have come together to fulfill their mission and sustain their vision of BEING Portland’s Original Faith Community. Here at the head of Temple Street, we still have the ability to throw open our windows and our doors, and receive whomsoever is sent. We can still make people feel welcome and help them stay warm, even with the cost of heating oil being what it is.
This is the Good News: it is in our hands now.
We just need to each reach into our pockets....
I have some good news and some bad news about next year’s church operating budget.
The good news is that we already have all the money we need.
The bad news is that it is still in your pockets.
These days the state of the economy is unavoidably on everybody’s mind. Mortgage forclosures and the banking crisis, job lay-offs and the sad state of the stock market are all front page news; and none of us can really feel confident that our own situation is truly secure, no matter how secure we may feel at the moment.
Yet is is also at times like these that people need the church more than ever. Need a feeling of safety and sanctuary, and a place to renew their sense of connectedness to one another and to All-That-Is. Need a time and a place to seek inspiration and encouragement, and to express their devotion to and gratitude for the Spirit that gives us life and give life meaning. And yes, need a place to live out the values of compassion and generosity, just as others come here needing to benefit from benevolence of their neighbors.
Over and over again in my 30-some years of parish ministry, I have observed that even the healthiest of churches never seem to have enough money to do everything they dream of doing, but almost always seem to be able to come up with enough to do the things they feel they absolutely need to do.
For generation after generation, through wars and fires, panics, recessions and a great depression, the people of First Parish have come together to fulfill their mission and sustain their vision of BEING Portland’s Original Faith Community. Here at the head of Temple Street, we still have the ability to throw open our windows and our doors, and receive whomsoever is sent. We can still make people feel welcome and help them stay warm, even with the cost of heating oil being what it is.
This is the Good News: it is in our hands now.
We just need to each reach into our pockets....
Sunday, March 22, 2009
An Open Letter to the Leaders and Congregation of the First Parish in Portland
[On Sunday March 22nd after church, an informational meeting was held for the entire congregation in order to answer questions about my departure and the events which lead up to my decision not to return to the pulpit here next September. I did not attend that meeting, for reasons I explain below, but I did write this letter to the leadership team, to be read aloud in whole or in part as my contribution to the discussion]
Dear Ones:
This is how I would wish to handle these explanations, based on my own understanding and experience of the process.
1) Nobody had to "ask" me to resign. Strictly speaking, I had already resigned as of July, 2008 when I filed my long term disability application and it was accepted by our insurer. Therefore, at least in that regard, this was not really a decision that ANYONE made; it was simply an acknowledgment of the reality of my situation, which was anticipated by the standard language of our UUMA-vetted contract. Thus for the past 9 months I have essentially been working (1/4 time) with both the encouragement and at the indulgence of the Governing Board, and it would have required some sort of pro-active decision (even if something so simple as a line item in the 2009-10 budget) for me have continued beyond June 30th anyway.
2) Ordinarily, in this or any similar situation, my "default" setting would have been to continue working: not because this is what I wanted (I have always seen my own wishes as secondary to what is best for the congregation anyway), but as the natural expression of my deep gratitude and devotion to the people of this church, who have done so much for me in the past twelve months. I would have gladly "died in this ministry" if that is really what would have made me most of service here, but I honestly don't think that's what anyone expected of me, so naturally I had already starting thinking myself about transition plans, as were many of the other central leaders of this congregation. The process by which we shared these thoughts with one another, and later communicated them to other members of the congregation, was hardly perfect; no process is, especially when it has to deal with such emotionally charged issues and so many diverse perspectives. But all of us shared in addition a common commitment to the on-going health and vitality of First Parish, as well as a great deal of affection and respect for one another personally. And that should not be overlooked, no matter how awkward the process itself may have appeared.
3) When all is said and done, I think the decision that we made is the best one that could have been made under the circumstances. For my own part, there were two critical factors which convinced me that moving on at this time was the right thing to do. The first was the realization of just how much stress and emotional pressure my illness was putting on the other leaders of the congregation. As I said in my original letter, First Parish deserves a full time minister who is capable of taking care of the people here, not one who needs such extensive caregiving himself. And the second factor was the realization that I was no longer capable of giving 100% of myself to this ministry, simply because it was no longer there to give. Mentally, emotionally, intellectually and even spiritually, the powerful narcotics that I take to control my pain and the chemotherapy agents which are used to combat the course of my disease have profoundly diminished my ability to be the kind of minister I have always aspired to be. It's more than just a matter of a little fatigue. If I am no long capable of performing my job at the level of excellence I have set for myself, I honestly feel that I really have no business hanging on beyond my time either.
4) Finally, I think people should know that my own ultimate response to all of this has been one of great relief. And it's not that I won't miss you all (because I will, very much), or that I don't also mourn the loss of "what might have been." But I also have other aspirations for what is left of my life that being released from the demanding obligations even of part-time parish ministry will greatly assist me in achieving. I'm looking forward a great deal to living closer to my family on the West Coast, and (I'm only a little embarrassed to say) I will certainly not miss Maine winters one little bit. I sincerely hope that in the next few months people will take advantage of the many opportunities for us to say goodbye that the Committee on Ministry is working with me to create, which we hope will include small group settings and social engagements both at the church and in members homes, as well as ample opportunities for one-on-one breakfast, lunch or coffee meet-ups, and at least one large all-church event toward the end of May or in early June.
I recognize that this may all sound a little cold, analytical, and emotionally aloof. But this is exactly how I feel, as well as (at least from my perspective) a completely truthful narrative of events as they took place and I experienced them. I would be happy to allow the relevant portions of this to be printed out and read at the informational meeting, and will even be willing to read them myself, although I think I might find the kind of back-and-forth Q & A this meeting is certain to create a little too emotionally demanding, given the way that my painkillers bring my emotions so close to the surface (as so many of you have witnessed lately). Feel free to respond with comments if you like.
Tim
Dear Ones:
This is how I would wish to handle these explanations, based on my own understanding and experience of the process.
1) Nobody had to "ask" me to resign. Strictly speaking, I had already resigned as of July, 2008 when I filed my long term disability application and it was accepted by our insurer. Therefore, at least in that regard, this was not really a decision that ANYONE made; it was simply an acknowledgment of the reality of my situation, which was anticipated by the standard language of our UUMA-vetted contract. Thus for the past 9 months I have essentially been working (1/4 time) with both the encouragement and at the indulgence of the Governing Board, and it would have required some sort of pro-active decision (even if something so simple as a line item in the 2009-10 budget) for me have continued beyond June 30th anyway.
2) Ordinarily, in this or any similar situation, my "default" setting would have been to continue working: not because this is what I wanted (I have always seen my own wishes as secondary to what is best for the congregation anyway), but as the natural expression of my deep gratitude and devotion to the people of this church, who have done so much for me in the past twelve months. I would have gladly "died in this ministry" if that is really what would have made me most of service here, but I honestly don't think that's what anyone expected of me, so naturally I had already starting thinking myself about transition plans, as were many of the other central leaders of this congregation. The process by which we shared these thoughts with one another, and later communicated them to other members of the congregation, was hardly perfect; no process is, especially when it has to deal with such emotionally charged issues and so many diverse perspectives. But all of us shared in addition a common commitment to the on-going health and vitality of First Parish, as well as a great deal of affection and respect for one another personally. And that should not be overlooked, no matter how awkward the process itself may have appeared.
3) When all is said and done, I think the decision that we made is the best one that could have been made under the circumstances. For my own part, there were two critical factors which convinced me that moving on at this time was the right thing to do. The first was the realization of just how much stress and emotional pressure my illness was putting on the other leaders of the congregation. As I said in my original letter, First Parish deserves a full time minister who is capable of taking care of the people here, not one who needs such extensive caregiving himself. And the second factor was the realization that I was no longer capable of giving 100% of myself to this ministry, simply because it was no longer there to give. Mentally, emotionally, intellectually and even spiritually, the powerful narcotics that I take to control my pain and the chemotherapy agents which are used to combat the course of my disease have profoundly diminished my ability to be the kind of minister I have always aspired to be. It's more than just a matter of a little fatigue. If I am no long capable of performing my job at the level of excellence I have set for myself, I honestly feel that I really have no business hanging on beyond my time either.
4) Finally, I think people should know that my own ultimate response to all of this has been one of great relief. And it's not that I won't miss you all (because I will, very much), or that I don't also mourn the loss of "what might have been." But I also have other aspirations for what is left of my life that being released from the demanding obligations even of part-time parish ministry will greatly assist me in achieving. I'm looking forward a great deal to living closer to my family on the West Coast, and (I'm only a little embarrassed to say) I will certainly not miss Maine winters one little bit. I sincerely hope that in the next few months people will take advantage of the many opportunities for us to say goodbye that the Committee on Ministry is working with me to create, which we hope will include small group settings and social engagements both at the church and in members homes, as well as ample opportunities for one-on-one breakfast, lunch or coffee meet-ups, and at least one large all-church event toward the end of May or in early June.
I recognize that this may all sound a little cold, analytical, and emotionally aloof. But this is exactly how I feel, as well as (at least from my perspective) a completely truthful narrative of events as they took place and I experienced them. I would be happy to allow the relevant portions of this to be printed out and read at the informational meeting, and will even be willing to read them myself, although I think I might find the kind of back-and-forth Q & A this meeting is certain to create a little too emotionally demanding, given the way that my painkillers bring my emotions so close to the surface (as so many of you have witnessed lately). Feel free to respond with comments if you like.
Tim
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